So Tres Fetch

2009-02-05T20:02:00.003-05:00

Like What You Used to Read?

Miss So Tres Fetch? Wish you could read more of my thoughts about TV, stars and anything else under the sun? If so, check out BethandTaxes.blogspot.com. Now, it's not as much celeb gossip, but I promise it'll still entertain! And think about it, if you are dying for celeb gossip, you can always read my archives! (or email me at tresfetch@gmail.com and tell me what you want to hear about, I am always happy to write more!)

See you on the flip side (the flip side being www.bethandtaxes.blogspot.com. (I need to spell it out, there are some guys that read this and we all know they don't get the hints we drop))

2007-09-07T13:48:00.001-04:00

Little Good Girls Gone Bad...

First High School Musical's Vanessa strips down for the camera and now Seventh Heaven's Mackenzie Rosman follow suit?! Is this the new "it" thing for TV really really sickeningly sweet girls to do?! Say it aint so!

(p.s. I REFUSE to put up the NSFW pictures!!!)

2007-09-07T13:40:00.000-04:00

Mona Lisa Smile!

Britney seems happier these days and I must say, sorta cute too! Could it be that her lawyer has told her she has nothing to worry about in her custody battle?

Has cousin Allie just pointed to a picture of a fat and drunk Justin Timberlake and Britney is over come with happiness that she isnt the ONLY Mickey Mouse Clubber to go down hill?

OR.....

Is she thinking to herself...I CAN TOTALLY fit into this dress!!

2007-09-07T12:11:00.001-04:00

Let’s Talk About….

Do you really really want me to recap this week’s episode?! I mean it was SO boring! Alas…I will if you want, please, please, up off the floor, your incessant begging is embarrassing me.

Before I start, I must ask…is anyone else longing for the days of Kristen Cav and LC?! Even a little Jessica or even Kendra would be welcoming right now. These girls just don’t have it, the bitch and ho factor is just not there, no rapper would have anything to say about these girls.

Chrissy starts us off by telling us that she wants to somehow in a “sly” way get Clay to hang out with her, so her and Sasha decide that a BBQ with the four of them is totally sly and he wont see anything coming…and its not awkward. Wow…Chrissy is good! He will definitely think that this is a party that the two of them just happen to be at…with no one else!

Meanwhile, Allie and Clay are going on a date…where they go mini golfing, does Allie have a season pass to the miniature golf course or something? Or is there really nothing to do out in Newport Harbor? The date is…uneventful…to say the least…so I will spare you and I won’t say anymore!

Unfortunately Chrissy underestimated Clay’s intelligence because the first thing he says when Grant tells him that they invited them is, “just the two of us, I don’t know.” And he is IMMEDIATELY uncomfortable! Oh I get it, it’s that Newport Harbor lingo I don’t get again at work, “Sly” must mean “obvious” and it must be next to “Funner” in the Newport Harbor Dictionary.

Chrissy eventually gets wind of the “date” and is not a happy camper. Did anyone else see a glimmer of joy in Sasha’s face when she tells her? Will bitchiness prevail, or is this just me seeing something that I WANT to see? Who am I kidding there was nothing there but a faint reflection of my hope for this season to be as good as seasons past. (I almost miss Came!!)

Chrissy has her BBQ, and Clay shows up. After they are “Sly-lee” left by the rest of the partygoers (note: I am using the word sly as they would in Newport, for those of you who are having a hard time following as I was throughout this whole episode please read this translation: After all of Chrissy friends leave the room in such an over obvious way Clay and Chrissy are left to their awkward conversations.”) Clay starts off every conversation the same and today he doesn’t let me down when he asks, “Are your parents home?” This boy is obviously petrified by Chrissy’s father! They have such a painful conversation which leaves me wondering why either of them actually wants to date the other since they will then be in for a life time of conversations that go a little like this, “So.”…..”So!”…. “Yeah.”…. “Yeah!” It’s PAINFUL PEOPLE PAINFUL! However at the end of the conversation they have somehow come to a conclusion that they can “get past all of this”. (At that moment I checked to see if I blacked out, because no way did they say more than 8 words to each other, how did they get to a conclusion? I might have to see a doctor about this!) They hug and make up and all is right in Newport again!

…or is it?! Allie is still pining for Clay and now it seems as though Chrissy has him…so I guess the logical step would be for her to patch things up with one time long lost love Chase…and predictably so she does…I think….cause I am not really sure what their conversation really amounted to either!

Before this, Allie and Fallie go on Allie's father’s boat and I have no idea what the point of this scene was.

Clay finally grows a set, calls Chrissy and asks her out on a real date! The fact that they both like swordfish and Mahi Mahi means that they are perfectly compatible and I think that they will get married! But will they go to prom together? (Wait…prom? For some reason I thought it was already summer and they were out of school…apparently not!) Clay asks Chrissy if she is excited for prom and you can almost see her face light up and her heart grow three times bigger. Immediately following this we see her heart explode when Clay says, he doesn’t know who he will ask to prom…Nice set up Clay…bring up her hopes then drop them back down again. He then asks her who she was thinking of going to prom with…her heart now repairs itself and grows again….and then is once again let down when he responds to the same question with, “I don’t know, someone who I have fun with.” Which was sort of cute since she said that, but at the same time you could tell he was trying to make her think he would ask her but then he was trying to be cool and make her think he had tons of options as well. At this point, her heart shatters, explodes and implodes all at one time; however you would never know when you look at that stepford wife smile of hers!

Then they kiss, and I am supposed to be excited but instead I am not…since they are BOTH BORING! I mean should I be excited that they did something that 5th graders can bring themselves to do everyday, yet it took them months?!

What can I say? Offer me a free iPhone and you will get a MUCH better recap and I can fake my excitement about as much as these girls do on the show next time!!

2007-09-04T12:56:00.000-04:00

Let’s Talk About

and

Really nothing else in this episode was as memorable as Spencer Pratt’s facial hair so this post will be named after him. Way to go Spencer, you made it into my heart for about .2 seconds!

Why Spencer decided that this was a good look for him, I cannot even begin to fathom, however I can come up with a few scenarios as to WHY he would grow such a monstrosity on his chin:

1. Spencer, having just finished watching 300 instead of reading about the history of Sparta for his Greek History class, decided he would look totally badass as a Greek God…He was wrong.

2. Spencer is not actually 23 as he continuously claims to be, but instead is only 18. He realizes that with a beard he will have an easier time buying beer when he hands the clerk at the liquor store his ID that boasts the name McLovin…this also was a mistake on his part.

3. Spencer has a huge zit and his proactive solution hasn’t come in yet so he grew the beard to cover up the unsightly growth. (The last batch was eaten by Heidi’s dog Bella which like acne, mysteriously disappeared!)

Regardless, I was THRILLED when it was gone the next time we saw him. Now on to bigger problems…Heidi and Spencer seem to be leaving me with a feeling of disconnect after their return from Colorado. Now maybe this is because Spencer truly is “working”, but somehow I clearly doubt that. Their conversation is forced and uncomfortable to watch and seems to revert back to Audrina/Spencer/Heidi days when he pretty much blows Heidi off throughout the entire conversation. Not even the promise of Don Antonio’s (where he took both girls on a date in Season 2) can cheer McGrumpyPants up. So Heidi moves on to breakfast with Jenn Bunny where we are met with an even MORE awkward conversation. Not only am I pretty sure these two cannot be friends without alcohol, Brody or Lauren being involved, but I am also pretty sure they both might have eating disorders as all I saw was a lot of pushing around of food and not enough eating of it.

Remember last week when Spencer said that Lauren was a selfish little girl that wanted Heidi all to herself? And then he did that AWFUL impression of her? Well, clearly he doesn’t have a mirror because if he did he would realize that this jealously and animosity that he is dishing out towards Brody is a THOUSAND times worse than how he thinks Lauren was. While “working”, Spencer is interrupted with a phone call from Brody, who would like to know why he has been ignoring him. (Oh…in case you aren’t a huge fan of the show, let the record show…Spencer and Brody, although Spencer is making it seem this way…are NOT dating.) Spencer says he has “nothing to say to him.” And then goes on to say a whole lot…mostly about how he doesn’t like that Brody is "rolling" with Enemy #1, and how Brody has no loyalty towards him and blah, blah, blah. He ends the conversation by strategically hanging up his iPhone before letting Brody give him a logical response, because logic has no place in Spencer Pratt’s world.

Audrina, who shocked me last week by deciding to be done with Justin-Bobby-Sometimes Justin-Sometimes Bobby after he deserted her ONCE AGAIN (because leaving her in Vegas wasn’t deal breaking enough) decided to shock me this week by going out to dinner with him. Hmmm…she really knows how to make a point, huh? JB-SJ-SB tells Audrina “when you have a good thing it doesn’t make sense to go and ruin it with labels.” I think he is right, I mean like when soldiers are in Iraq fighting for democracy…why go and ruin it and label it a war? Or like when there is a huge storm heading into America, why ruin the excitement and label it as a category 5 storm?! I think we all learned a valuable lesson here…Labels are for losers who don’t like to be informed as to what type of situation they are in.

At the end of the day all anyone needs to get themselves back on track after a break-up or a bad dinner date is the Roosevelt Hotel Pool…where Lauren goes EVERY Sunday. (LA-ers…start your stalking now!) So the gang (Lo, LC, Aud, Frankie and Brody) all meet at the famed summer hot spot and discuss the week. Audrina says she is taking a little break from JB-SJ-SB for now which we can all be sure means they will be dating again next week. Brody talks about how upset he is that Spencer broke up with him but that he was happy that Frankie was there to pick up the pieces. And finally we find out that Brody and Lauren had a sleepover the night they went to his condo and we think there might be more than meets the eye to this whole situation, but Lauren, emotions cloaked behind her sunglasses, is giving up nothing.

Stayed tuned when next week Lauren will be $15,000 richer for doing nothing, and I will be no richer for busting my butt!

2007-09-04T11:23:00.000-04:00

Let’s Talk About…

Even though I am in a bad mood today, and Newport Harbor aired a week ago, I will still stay true and recap last week’s episode. (Mainly because Jen’s sister Casey would like me to and I must please my people!) So here it goes!

We begin this weeks (although it was really last weeks) episode with my favorite couple, Taylor and Chase, with Taylor asking a very seemingly innocent question. Apparently asking to see Chase’s phone is something that sets him over the edge and he starts whining about how he is overwhelmed with the whole girlfriend thing and that he is tired of her always checking up on him, etc. Meanwhile he doesn’t even give Taylor a chance to tell him why she wants to see the phone…maybe she wanted to play Tetris or something…GEES Chase, way to freak out!

Well…regardless of my desire to keep Tay around, Chase decides that they need a break. How can he be tired of her already she has only been on the screen TWICE so far! I guess in Newport Harbor that’s like an eternally long relationship. Oh well, the ax has been dropped!

Moving on to my FAVORITE part of the night, white guys rapping in a car…wait for it, SHIRTLESS! I mean, what is more badass than that?! HOOOOOOOT!! (Someone must be taking pimping lessons from Isaac on the Real World.) After the never elected Mayor and Clay rock out they move on to a more serious matter, the homeless population in Newport Harbor and how to combat this problem. Oh…wait…no that wasn’t it; sorry I must have mistook this conversation for Bootylicious! The actual topic: What type of girl Grant likes. Now this may come as a shock to you, but he likes little blond cute girls who can shake it! HOLY CRAP!! “That sounds like Taylor,” says Clay. Uh…yeah and every other girl in Newport Harbor OTHER than Fallie…although she is quite short and she does like to shake it as well, so yea…EVERY GIRL CLAY….EVERY GIRL! However, MTV has clearly set the stage for these two to hook up so I go with it, you know why? ‘Cause that’s how I roll!”

Now….which percentage of American’s think that Fallie is the smartest girl in Newport Harbor….90%-100%? Oh sorry you lose the $100,000; America actually thinks that Sasha is the smartest girl in Newport Harbor. Well, actually I think that she is, but I can count as America can’t I? I came to this conclusion when Chrissy asks Sasha, “Guess who came to my house today??” Sasha wasn’t having any part of this stupid guessing game when she simply answered “Chase.” Hoooooow did you know Sasha?!! (Clearly Chrissy is either thinking that she can bank in on her friends newly found ESP powers or she is already setting up the burning stake and making posters that say, “WITCH” on them.) Sasha quickly dashes all hope of a money making scheme when she answers, “I saw his car in your driveway!” NO WAY would Fallie put those two things together! Clearly Sasha IS the smartest girl in Newport Harbor!

Chase takes his space from Tay in the very unique way of calling her the day after their “break”. Looks like someone OTHER than Taylor is checking in! Then he calls again….then he calls again….and then he calls again. All the while he is either driving around in his car stalking her and trying to find her, or MTV’s clever editors have just shown the same scene three times in a row.

Taylor…who is on a date with the Mayor clearly cannot answer the phone…it would be rude and might cost him votes in the next election! Chase retaliates with the non-answering phone behavior by going over to Chrissy’s house, and we begin to wonder if Chrissy really is that pure girl that MTV makes her out to be…

Meanwhile at Casa de Clay….Clay calls Chrissy, gets her voice mail and hangs out with his dog. Too little too late playa!
Chrissy tells the Mayor in confidence that she hooked up with Chase and begs him not to tell Clay…yeah good job Chrissy don’t you know ANYTHING about politics?! Grant runs over to Clay and dishes like all good gossiping girls do! Clay…pretty much cries and at one point I am pretty sure he is about to throw up on the side of his pool!

In another awkwardly set up moment brought to you by MTV, Chrissy and Taylor just happen upon each other in a store. The exchange at first is painful when we realize this might be the “day after,” however, Taylor is so cool that she is okay with Chrissy hanging out with her ex boyfriend. I equate this reaction with one of two things, 1) She is saying it is okay because she hooked up with Grant last night and knows that she has no leg to stand on if she decides to make an issue out of this or 2) She is aware of how boring Chrissy is and realizes this girl poses no threat. Regardless of what her reasoning is, the two become fast friends and decide to crash the boys’ poker night. This turns out well for Taylor who is instantly showered with love from Grant, but it backfires for Chrissy who engages in a “who can look more miserable” contest with Clay all night long!
The Newport Harbor boys once again prove to me that they too watch The Hills when Chase decides to have a conversation with Taylor about her cheating ways in his car. (Please take this moment to remember a certain, “well then...I say...get out of my car” moment between Heidi and Spencer in Season 2 of The Hills!) They talk about how Chase is hurt that she went out with Grant seeing as she cheated on him with Grant before, she says something like “we were on a break”. (Either that or I flipped to Friends for a second, it’s hard to tell when real life mimic’s TV so closely) and then he tells her he is done and ushers her out of the car. Nothing else after that was too interesting except for the fact that the kids of Newport Harbor keep using the word “slew” and unfortunately it hasn’t gone the way of Bootylicious yet and I can't look it up anywhere so I have no idea what it means! Then we have yet another awkward moment between Clay and Chrissy and it makes me yearn for those days when I, in high school, would too ask a question with such a blatantly obvious answer when Chrissy asks a basketball playing Clay what he is doing and he asks a bike riding Chrissy what she is doing. You might be surprised to find out…the answers to those questions…WERE in fact basketball and bike riding. Oh to live in the simpler days of high school again!

2007-08-31T09:47:00.000-04:00

Someone Needs to Teach Milo the Meaning of Inconspicuous!

The cast of the hit NBC show Heroes are on a worldwide tout and seem to now be in Germany! In other news Stephen Colletti's heart breaks a little each time Milo violates his girlfriend Hayden with his superhero stare!

2007-08-30T11:49:00.000-04:00

Let’s talk about….

Candybar, candybar, candybar….why are you so sweet? Is it because you are made of sugar? Or is it simply because of the sweet nothings that come out of your mouth? Hmmm…it can’t be the sweet nothings because you just called Parisa “interesting” instead of pretty…and now she is hurt…and now I'm sure you are wondering why she is so uptight…um, possibly cause you are a jerk??

KellyAnne and Trisha sit down to talk about how she is “just not that into Dunbar”. (You like that one right? I am throwing Dunbar’s words right back at him! Take that Mississippi boy!) The wonderful editors of this show give us tons of footage to prove to us how “not into” candybar she is by showing us a montage of scenes in which KellyAnne is throwing herself at him. (Mostly we keep seeing KellyAnne and candybar in the hot tub over and over again, but we get the point) All the while we hear KellyAnne’s voice over asking, “Why would he think I like him?” or “He obviously read too much into my flirting and thinks I like him…which I so don’t”. Again I have to implore…who exactly is KellyAnne trying to convince? Herself? Candybar? Candybar’s girlfriend? (Side note: it looks like all the girls no longer want a piece so is it appropriate to still call Dunbar Candybar? No I can't. From here on out he is Dunbar again)

Parisa talks to KellyAnne about KellyAnne getting in between Parisa and Dunbar’s relationship. Apparently Parisa just doesn’t seem to get the hint and still seems to think somehow that the two of them have a relationship, that’s not psycho though…no, no not at all! KellyAnne seems to be over Parisa’s skirting of the issue and she shouts in too loud of a voice (which I am beginning to realize she uses often) “Do you like Dunbar or not?” Parisa follows suit with KellyAnne’s recent rant and lies to herself and America and says no. Then KellyAnne goes off on some strange tangent about how she doesn’t like him and she has no idea how he got that idea (jumping in bed with him and basically mauling him in the hot tub seem to be two things that have deleted themselves from KellyAnne’s memory.) KellyAnne lets Parisa know that she is backing off, why? I am not sure considering Parisa ISN’T Dunbar’s girlfriend anywhere else but in her own mind, but apparently KellyAnne has visited that world before and understands Parisa.

Parisa somehow understands KellyAnne too, which leads me to believe that there might actually be soul mates in this house after all and it is these two nut jobs! Parisa said that she never understood why KellyAnne was so flirty, but after KellyAnne’s rant about how Dunbar has no idea who she is, or that she is just flirty, or that she was called a nickname in high school that I would rather not mention, but it’s a sort of tease that rhymes with rock peas, Parisa suddenly has this epiphany and seems to understand why KellyAnne is a flirt/tease. I wish she had filled in the rest of us because I still have no idea why KellyAnne is the way that she is.

KellyAnne decides to do her best to convince Dunbar that she doesn’t like him, but as evidenced by his “Spencer Pratt” face he clearly doesn’t believe her.

Dunbar then runs back inside to tell Isaac about how KellyAnne “doesn’t like him” and gives the best impression that he can of her telling him, but that it seems like she was winking at the same time. Dunbar…KellyAnne was more convincing in her CLEARLY untrue argument than you were with that little story you just told Isaac. Isaac gives no opinion and ponders how KellyAnne might teach him how to pimp even harder than he did last weekend!

KellyAnne is on to her next love of the moment and starts in on our southern boy Cohutta. I can only imagine what these two have in common, like being from the south, or like…oh wait, that’s about all I see. Cohutta is rational, calm, genuinely sweet, and so far he doesn’t seem to be insane…so I’m sticking with the south being their only connection. Meanwhile I am still trying to figure out what the hell Cohutta has said in the last five minutes because I seem to understand less and less of him as time goes on and I think that I have only understood a total of 5 words he has uttered thus far. I will try and work on that…orrrrrrr; we can send a petition to MTV to ask for subtitles each time he talks.

Dunbar turns back on the sweet nothings when he decides to attack Parisa by telling her that woman have no place singing the blues. There you go Dunbar, let those true colors show through! Soon he will admit that his “Mississippi flag” really IS a confederate flag. I now hate Dunbar more than ever. Oh wait, he apparently wants to kick it up a notch as he tries to physically restrain Parisa so that she will stay and be yelled at more about how woman aren’t supposed to sing the blues and various other things he can throw at her. Wow…it’s such a wonder to me how she DOESN’T want to stay and listen to that! Parisa where is your sense of adventure? Lighten up will ya? (I am pretty sure he also says, “Don’t ever walk away when I am trying to hold you!” But again, I’m going to have to say subtitles would be appropriate when, say someone, is going through roid rage??)

Parisa concludes that she is “a toilet bowl that Dunbar likes to shit in.” And this is the boy that you have told the world in any other situation would be your Prince Charming…I do NOT want to read Parisa’s fairy tales to my children, they sound pretty scary and grim.

Cohutta earns the name Co-HOT-ah again when he tells some local Aussie girls that he is “a mountain man baby” and proves this by letting America know that he not only wears a bear claw around his neck, but that he also killed that bear…with his bare hands I’m sure! Oh Co-HOT-ah I can see why KellyAnne is falling for you, I mean, killing a bear? I am almost smitten myself! Also…I think you might be getting some fan mail from Michael Vick sometime soon so don’t be surprised when you get mail from the state pen.

I LOVE how Dunbar starts throwing bitchfits EVERY time he realizes that KellyAnne, although not too convincing with her “I don’t like you’ argument, is VERY convincing when it comes to the “I’m over you” show. He throws a small bitchfit and tries to make joke out of it by bringing to everyone’s attention that Cohutta and KellyAnne have been in the confessional for about 20 minutes. I wonder if he is gearing up for his “all woman are whores” speech that I know is coming soon, I mean after the woman have no place in blues speech I’m just dying to know what else is in that head of his…then I hope that KellyAnne or Parisa rip that head much like a praying mantis does after mating with her man!

Dunbar throws his bitchfit into high gear when KellyAnne gets into bed with Cohutta. He yells, tells her to shut up, says she is a slut or something like that and altogether makes himself look like a jealous little girl. Calm yourself Dunbar, you are embarrassing your clan-mates!

2007-08-29T12:36:00.000-04:00

What Percentage of Americans Think Amber is an Anti-Semite?

Did anyone else see her face lite up when Drew Carey said that Karl Rove was the new president? And I am SURE that Amber actually believes there ARE flying cars now, she is going to come out of the BB house and just look around in awe...than the tears will start flowing because Amber will realize Drew Carey lied to her and she should not have put in her alliance of three with her and God.

On a more important note though....HOW ON EARTH DID AMBER BEAT DANIELLE!? It's just unreal, I know Amber had no idea what half 0f what was being said meant. Although she did shock me when she proved to know what a pit bull was!

2007-08-28T12:52:00.000-04:00

In Case You Missed it!

Those writers over at GREEK sure do like to reference The Hills and Laguna Beach! But not even the revelation that Laguna was "all fake" could pull Ashleigh out of her funk! Don't watch GREEK? Well you should, it's really funny for everyone from Greek Alums to Engineering majors! (Monday nights, 9:00 EST)

2007-08-28T11:48:00.000-04:00

Let’s Talk About…

Awkward was the word of the day not only in California, but in Colorado as well! We start off right away with an awkward moment that also sheds some light on the “reality” aspect of this show. Heidi lets Spencer know that even though he has been planning a BBQ with Brody and Frankie for three months, (because a LOT of work goes into planning a BBQ…like buying food….and….wait, that’s about it, how did this take them 3 months to plan??) he will be going to Colorado to visit her family instead! Spencer tries to fight going by whining about missing out on his BBQ, but then I think the guilt starts to set in that he is having a “fake engagement” with Heidi and has yet to meet her parents so he agrees. Then we have an “Aha” moment when Spencer asks Heidi, “What do your parents know about this relationship?” (We can call this Awkward Moment #1) Translation: Have your parents seen the show and know that I am a total douche bag who isolated you from your friends? Alternate translation: Do they know we are “fake” engaged? Third translation: Do they know we are living together and sharing a bed?? You can almost see the sweat droplets begin to form on his HUGE forehead when he realizes all of his actions in the past year might actually have consequences in the form of PARENTS! Silly Spencer, neglectful partners are for LA kids!

Heidi answers that her parents know that they are living together, in fact she talks to her mom ever day and she knows everything. If this WERE true, how on earth does Spencer not know that? Even my friend Jen who DOESN’T live with me knows I talk to my mom everyday, how does he miss that? (He is probably too busy planning more surprises for Heidi…like that snake he wants to leave in her bed…)

We then move onto Awkward Moment #2 when Spencer tells Brody he will not be making it to the BBQ. Now, I am all for a good BBQ, but I have never in my life seen people so serious about one before, was this the social event of the year? Was People Magazine invited or something? Brody bitches Spencer out for spending so much time with Heidi…hmmmm, that sounding familiar where have I heard that before? “I can see what Lauren meant!” Ohhhhhhhh, that’s where I heard it, from Lauren when last season she said the reverse to Heidi, thanks Brody! Spencer just sort of looks shocked that his friend would even bring up her name, much less compare him to her. Looks like the disciples are revolting, not a good time to go to Colorado!

Let’s move over to Colorado now, before I get involved with the BBQ of the century. We can call the trip to Colorado Awkward Moment #3, 4, and 5. Everything seems great until Awkward Moment #3 when Heidi asks her dad what his opinion is of Spencer. (Did we not learn from Audrina last week that putting someone on the spot while asking their opinion about a jerk is NOT a good move?) Heidi’s dad CLEARLY isn’t too much of a fan (he must be watching the show) and he says that he seems nice and polite (read: fake!) But that if he really makes her happy that’s all that matters, although he says this with MUCH trepidation like he doesn’t think his daughter is happy at all and instead resembles a shell of what she once was. Then Heidi probably says the meanest thing of all when she tells her father that she “always wanted to find a guy like her daddy.” Um…I don’t know your dad that well, but I can probably say with confidence that your dad is not an ass!

Awkward Moment #4 comes when Heidi tries to have a similar conversation with her mother, but her mother turns it on her relationship with Lauren and demands to know what happened. She thinks there has to be more to the story than just the Spencer thing, but Heidi claims there is not. Hmmm…looks like mom is on Team Lauren like the rest of the world! Heidi’s mom then asks a wise question, what happens if she and Spencer do not work out? Who will be her friend then? Great question, seeing as their engagement is a total sham!! Heidi gives some lame answer about how she has his friends and his friends girlfriends, and I have to say this is the first time I actually believe that she and Spencer are in an actual relationship…an abusive one, but a relationship never the less. (Or a relationshit?)

Awkward Moment #5 comes when Spencer and Heidi’s dad have the “talk”, although it’s a little late seeing as they are already “Engaged”. Heidi’s dad starts in on Spencer about his feelings for his daughter, blah, blah, blah. The interesting part is when he starts in on Spencer and in not so many words seems to place blame on him for Heidi loosing all of her friends! (So he DOES watch the show!!) He asks the same question of Spencer that Heidi’s mom asked and wonders what will happen if Spencer isn’t in her life anymore? What then, who will she have? “She only has you”. Translation: If you break up with her and she has no friends and cries…I WILL kill you! Aaaand Spencer…is left speechless! Which is a hard feat so he must be freaking out right now realizing that he either has to get Heidi some new friends or he is stuck with her for life…something he was never planning on?

Okay…back in LA at the BBQ of the millennium. Just because people are in beach ware playing football and enjoying burgers don’t think for one second that they can avoid the awkward moment here! They happen pretty quickly so try and keep up!

Awkward Moment #6: Lauren breaks Brody’s finger…too bad no one believes him. He goes to the hospital regardless.

Awkward Moment #7: Brody comes back from the hospital in a full arm cast…he is met with laughter from the entire party…poor Brody. :(

Awkward Moment #8: Brody starts telling Lauren that he upset her by laughing at him when he returned in a full arm cast…Lauren responds by laughing, and then realizes Brody isn’t kidding and he really is upset…awwwwwwkward!! Lauren kisses Brody’s cast and everything with the world is at ease once again!

MASSIVE Awkward #9: (saving the best for last) Justin-Bobby-sometimes Justin-sometimes Bobby spends the entire night flirting and doing what looks to be like getting another girl’s number and then leaves Audrina’s helmet on the couch. (Ouch deserted again!!) Audrina cries/sort of laughs once Lauren breaks the news to her “surprise style” by hiding the helmet behind her back and presenting it to her and then cries harder….mega awkward.

So…the word of the day was what boys and girls? AWWWWWWKWARD!!! Way to take a page from Big Brother MTV!

2007-08-28T09:33:00.000-04:00

Sorry Mike!

I haven't had one of these in a long time! (it seems people just don't really care about JoJo as much as Mike does!) However, it seems as though once again JoJo is off the market...Maybe one day Mike....one day! It looks as though Qwanell, from Making the Band 4 wound up with more than just a record deal!

2007-08-28T09:23:00.000-04:00

Britney, Britney, Britney....

Britney was seen leaving the recording studio with what looks like to be possibly a demo CD. She should be spending less time in the studio trying to resuscitate her career and more time on the impending "child abuse" case filed against her

2007-08-27T11:17:00.000-04:00

Britney's Kids Behind the Wheel Again?

No, not a real car this time! Britney's parents went to KFab's house to pick up the little ones and have some grandparent time. I think it's safe to say these two little ones did NOT get a DUI while out on the road!

2007-08-27T10:58:00.000-04:00

Owen Wilson Hospitalized After Alleged Suicide Attempt

According to the National Enquirer and Star Magazine (two not very reliable sources) Owen Wilson was rushed to the hospital around noon on Sunday after a family member found him and called for help. He supposedly slashed superficially both of his wrists and had taken an overdose of pills. I hope that this isn't true, we do not need to lose another comedian to the way of suicide :(

Click HERE for the full story.

Source: Fox Morning Show

2007-08-24T10:23:00.000-04:00

Hollywood Hits The Slammer!

Lindsay Lohan plead "no contest" yesterday to 7 misdemeanor charges for her two separate arrests. She wasn't charged with a felony for possession of cocaine as we all assumed she wouldn't be, however he sentence was handed down as follows:

1 day in jail (to be served before January 18)(Lindsay was originally sentenced to 4 days, but her lawyer had this reduced to 2 days, and given the one day of credit she received for the jail time she served when she was arrested she will now only serve one day in prison)

10 days of community service

18 months of alcohol education program

She must attend a drug program (not that this has helped her thus far)

stay at Cirque Lodge for rehab for an unspecified amount of time

and finally

3 years of probation

Not to be outdone...Nicole Richie also entered Jail yesterday to serve out her 4 day sentence. With all of the attention on Lindsay Nicole was "free" to go to jail in peace. Much like Linds, Nicole is already out of jail because she was credited one day for her 6 hours when she was arrested and due to overcrowding they kicked her to the curb.

Just so we are straight...neither of these woman were given special treatment (....um...1 day in jail and neither of them were charge with drug possession? I'd say that treatment is pretty special!)

2007-08-23T16:13:00.000-04:00

Let’s Talk About…

Real World was…well about as boring as real life last night! But at least my girl Parisa did not let me down when it came to “bringing the drama”! Let us call tonight’s episode “Just Friends”. There was a lot of that term being thrown around, sometimes in the event of it being an all out lie, other times in the way people keep saying things over and over again to prove to themselves that they believe it, and other times in an attempt to fool both viewers and certain significant others…so it is only fitting for the title to be as such!

On to the sh*t show!! Last week we left off with Isaac telling Trisha quite comically that he wasn’t sure if she was good person after she tried to lure him over to her side in the Parisa vs. Trisha fight of last week. My opinion…well Trisha you kind of walked into that one, you cheated on your boyfriend and then proceeded to hog the computer all day long while waiting for an email back from said boyfriend, and then you waged an all out war with Parisa after she asked to use the computer! Yes…you are a very good person Trisha! I need time to think on that one too!

Although admittedly I was on Trisha’s side because I know what it is like to wait for life changing emails, I mean, hey I do it all day long at work, I was not on her side when she flipped out on Parisa and once again told her to buy a personality. (On an unrelated note, where can one find a personality store? Because, if I have significant proof of their existence I too will begin to suggest people go out shopping for a new persona!)

Meanwhile the rest of the guys try out a little costume test to pick up girls in Australia while wearing overalls and a jogging suit…and guess what?! IT WORKS! Isaac finds an Irish Lassie to go out with that night and proceeds to try and check off “Pimp Harder” on his checklist. I can only assume this checklist is entitled “Things I Want to Accomplish Before I am 30.” And I am sure; “dress up like Kevin Federline and spit mad game” is one of the entries on this awesome list!

In the morning we see him go right to the fridge and check off “Pimp Harder”, I think it is safe to assume he has sealed the deal. We then see the softer side of Isaac when he tells the viewers, “Will I see her again, who knows, but I hope so.” Somehow I believe him!

Parisa, this week, however is the star of my story! Dunbar, who from now on will be referred to as “Candybar” since all the girls seem to want to break a piece off of him for themselves (Thanks Lex!) decided that since he was uncomfortable with Parisa’s feelings towards him he would just “act really mean” towards her to turn her off. (Where would he get the idea that she likes him? Saying to the camera that in another world you and Dunbar would be a fairy tale is NOT grounds for being obsessive…oh wait….it is!) Silly boy, don’t you know anything? Girls are attracted to the bad boy so the meaner you are to Parisa the better your chances are of her liking you. (He must get his advice from Austin on Newport Beach) So we have a number of scenes showing Candybar being an all out jerk to Parisa and being really nice to the rest of the girls, he tells her numerous times to lighten up, but I am not sure if Parisa gets what that means as she seems to get darker and darker. Eventually when they are out Parisa starts in on Candybar about his attitude towards her and then threatens to “write him a letter”. In the letter she basically whines about everything we have heard her say in the confessional. I have taken liberties to translate Parisa’s letter for everyone now:

Hey Candybar,
I really really like you, but I hate when you flirt with KellyAnne. Every time you give her attention it reminds me that I am not your type and that you do not like me. It also reminds me that I hate KellyAnne, but instead of telling you that I hate her, I will say that I think it is “inappropriate” for you to act the way you do around her and for her to act the way she does around you knowing you have a girlfriend at home. This way, I seem much more mature than KellyAnne, and hope to god that you are more attracted to mature, smart women, instead of pretty, cute, slutty girls! I am now going to allude to the fact that I am just misunderstood, and under my tough exterior there is a girl that just wants a friend - that friend happens to be Dunbar. You know a friend who eventually becomes your girlfriend, and then eventually becomes your wife, and then the mother of your children, etc. I would like to end this letter on a slutty note because in my heart I know that’s what you are REALLY attracted to despite my efforts to turn you into someone you aren’t and let you know I would like to take a shower with you…of course, just for hygienic purposes, because lets be honest, I can't pull off the slut-factor.

As soon as Candybar finishes the letter KellyAnne crawls into bed with him to discuss Parisa’s “feelings” towards him. Her note seems to have really worked because by the end of the episode we hear Candybar tell KellyAnne that if he didn’t have a girlfriend they would be doing the horizontal mambo for the night vision cameras! And, we aren’t quite sure whether or not they are making out in the end, but if I were a betting lady…which I am NOT unless it is video black jack which I KICK butt in… I would put my money on “Yes, yes, ooooh yes!” Don’t worry though; KellyAnne assures us that she and Dunbar are… “JUST FRIENDS” and she hopes that his girlfriend doesn’t get the wrong idea about her hopping into bed with her man.

And to end on a high note Isaac tells the world that KellyAnne looks like one of those girls that will “sleep with you one night and stab you the next”…well said Isaac! She does have semi-crazy eyes!

2007-08-23T12:39:00.000-04:00

Conversations Between a Mom and Daughter

Katie: Suri...I need to talk to you about something serious. You know that Mommy and Daddy don't share a room right? Well I told the press it was because he snores...

Suri: Hahahahahahah

Katie: Hahahahahaha

Suri: Soon enough people will realize this marriage is a sham mom, but you know what I say to that? Oh well!

Katie: That's right! This marriage IS a sham, and do you know where daddy will send you if you tell anyone about it? That's right...right there, to Evil Lord Zenon!

Katie: Well at least my child believes in this crap!

P.S. She is so freaking adorable!!

2007-08-23T12:28:00.000-04:00

Britney's New Song!!

Ryan Seacrest is at it again, leaking songs onto his radio show! This time it's Britney Spears' new song...but not the one with Justin and Timbaland...

Click here to hear the song.

Can't listen to it at work or school? Here are the lyrics for you reading pleasure (or reading displeasure)

Everyday, I’m in a daze
Looking for that someone
And everyday, I sit and kneel and pray
Oh, sweet love, can I get some?
So why do you desert me, baby boy?
I need your love right now!
And if you desert me, baby boy
Don’t you leave me in your crowd

Talking
Hey baby, what time you gonna get home?
Oh, really?
[Sigh]
Alright, well, I’ll see you later, then
Oh, wait
Would you mind getting some…
Yeah, when you come home
Yeah, that’s it
I love you too
Bye

[Singing again]
Some day when you see my face
You will think that you have won
And some day when it’s all away
Our love just begun
So why did you desert me, baby boy?
I thought that you, you were the one
So if you preferred the other one
She won’t bring you the sun(son)

hmmm...who on earth could she be singing about?

2007-08-23T10:55:00.000-04:00

Let’s Talk About….

Okay…so today the gossip world is moving a bit slow and really nothing is entertaining me enough to take time out of my busy work day (You like that one Randy??) to post. So instead I thought it would be a good idea to talk about Newport Beach: The Real OC, MTV’s newest town featured in The Real OC series.

So we start off with Chrissy’s dad asking her if she enjoyed her time in Palm Beach. She said she had SOOOOO much fun, until her dad decided to c$%kblock her and ruin her “bonding time” with Clay. (Who by the way…thinks he is the “man” and a true “playa”, but really, he has no idea!) Her dad agreed that he might have embarrassed her and said that he felt bad; he then proceeds to ask her if Clay kissed her. (Um…wasn’t that what he was trying to prevent when he called her on her cell phone and broke up their fun in the hallway?) Chrissy replies with, “No dad, you kind of killed the mood!” Funny…’cause I thought most high school boys just LOVED it when dad breaks up the party, apparently not!

We then move on to Allie, and Fallie (that’s fake Allie, since Samantha wants to so desperately be Allie.) They are discussing their “Pretty in Pink” party which...ironically...they had NO idea was the title of a movie! (Does this mean something in pop culture finally dates me?) They make up their guest list and the make sure to NOT include Taylor since Allie would like Chase all to herself. So far, we have heard a whole lot about Taylor and have yet to see her, Allie and Fallie would like to keep it that way!

MTV, however, would not and in the next scene we meet Taylor! YAY!!!!!!!! Chase tells Taylor she can’t come to the party in not so many words. However Taylor sees through his “It’s kind of a senior thing” line and says, “So Allie doesn’t want me there? Be careful because this is all sort of sketchy.” She then asks Chase to be good…and move on to Chase…ASKING ALLIE OUT ON A DATE! Apparently when Taylor asked Chase to be good at the party Chase dove right into that loophole and planned a date with Allie BEFORE the party…well played little playa!

Allie…surprisingly wanted to have nothing to do with this, and told Chase she would be more comfortable if they weren’t alone together. We are privy to a short background of the Chase/Taylor/Allie drama when we learn that Chase dumped Taylor for Allie and then Allie blew him off and got a different boyfriend…Ouch!

Next we get to see how smart Allie and Fallie really are! They aren’t just blonde beauties people they have brains too! (Well…beauty is a strong word…that I wouldn’t use for them) The two go on and on about the existence of the word “funner” Allie corrects Fallie numerous times telling her the correct term is “more fun”, but Fallie stays strong in her debate that “funner” is in fact a word and that she thinks the added it into the dictionary! (The Idiot Dictionary?) Then they talk about how Bootylicious is a word, and that its now in the dictionary and that no one uses it anymore, then Allie tries to make fun of Fallie telling her that they took Gullible out of the dictionary (although she might think that this is in fact true) however, once again the irony is lost on Fallie as she deadpans and continues to talk about the validity of the word Bootylicious. At this point my brain implodes and I wonder why I have sat through this discussion for so long without flipping over to Bravo to see Top Chef.

“Pretty in Pink” Party time!!! All the girls are dressed in pink dresses (although I think that Allie and Chrissy are wearing red and I am worried they might have a rare strain of female colorblindness, either that or I need a new TV) Then we have the obligatory awkward moment between Chrissy and Clay...they dance…her phone rings…she runs out…It’s Daaaaaaady! He must be telling her to come home and she complains that it is still early (basically she is pissed since Clay just got the balls to look at her and now the other man in her life wants her home) She stays at the party, but the damage is done. Clay is “so over” her father c%^kblocking him.” Grant, the mayor (I wonder if he has real political aspirations) tells him to dance with another girl to make her jealous and Clay retorts with, “I like the way you are thinking bra!!” Um…good one idiot, all that does is piss off Chrissy!

Chrissy sits in the corner the rest of the night next to what I think is the bathroom, pouts, and wishes she listened to daddy and came home. (Chrissy you have to live by the way of George Costanza…ALWAYS leave on a high note!)

Fast forward to the next morning when Clay’s plan has backfired TERRIBLY as Chrissy’s very smart friend Sasha tells her to take a break from Clay and his weirdness for a while! NOT well played little playa…you lost the girl!

Oh yeah....In an effort to keep his promise to Taylor, Chase makes out with Fallie...G-ROSS! (He must really want Allie if he has to make out with the tofu version of her!)

Next week…maybe Clay will stop listening to the mayor seeing as no one really voted for his ass, and maybe, just maybe he can get the girl!

EDIT: Clay did not get the advice from Grant...instead it was Austin...sorry all these boys look the same to me, it hard to tell them apart when all their collars are popped!

2007-08-22T16:40:00.000-04:00

Slamming Them Back at Sleep Away Camp??

Could Lindsay be off the wagon before even getting herself fully back onto the wagon!? Seems like some Utah residents are either really pissed that they didn't get an autograph from Lindsay, or they are busting her in the act! A listener of Utah's 97.1 FM’s “The Morning Zoo” called in and said that they saw Lindsay Lohan buying Miller Lite from the Maverik Country Store last night...

Hmmm...should we be happy she is at least moving to some softer drinks, or should we be horrified that she seems to be once again taking advantage of her "day trips" out of rehab... I am glad that threats of jail time have made this girl take rehab seriously. ARE THESE PEOPLE NOT WATCHING HER!?

Remember...this is all an allegation, no sources have confirmed this story to be true...but it's juicy nevertheless!

p.s. Lindsay and I are wearing the same sweatshirt today!

Source

2007-08-22T12:24:00.000-04:00

What do you think Britney Spears was about to hit when she made this face?

1. Her Ex-Husband Kevin Federline? In the heat of the moment after reading that Kevin will be staring in one of her favorite shows "One Tree Hill" Britney jumps in the car to confront him on getting a job before her! (how dare he!) Seconds before she mows him down with her black Mercedes paparazzi caught her with nothing more than a murderous look on her face.

2. A deer? After moving to the country to escape all of the harsh news about her parenting skills, Britney has an encounter with an even more deadly animal than the paparazzi. After hitting and fatally wounding a domesticated deer that belonged to her neighbor Billy-Bob (not related to Justin-Bobby) she joined Michael Vick in his jail sentence for animal cruelty.

3. Her Child? In an effort to save some of the millions that she made, Britney opted not to go for the optional rear view camera on her Mercedes and accidentally backs into one of her children while leaving her house to go to a custody trial. She's a good mom y'all...she was just trying to save money so that she could send her kids to college so they can be edumicated unlike herself!

or did she hit.....

4. Rock bottom? After making the fatal mistake of not signing on to do a new single with one time flame superstar Justin Timberlake and Musical Genius Timbaland Britney goes out for a drive with her cousin/assistant/Paris Hilton's new besty Ali to burn off some steam. As she listens to Ali go on and on about her music career she is interested in starting Britney finally wakes up and realizes what her life has become. At that moment, she makes a Claire-esque (Heroes) decision and runs her car into a wall. Like Clair, Britney will survive this accident...unfortunately her career will not as it had died some time ago!

2007-08-22T12:02:00.000-04:00

Jim Can You Please Inform Justin Timberlake and Timbaland That They Are Being Shunned?

According to Page Six Britney's Label Jive records was completely stunned when they heard that Britney Spears did not show up for a recording session with Justin Timberlake and Timbaland. Justin wrote the song and Britney and her old beau were all set to record the song which very well could have been her big "comeback" and could have branched off into other endeavors such as the opening act on MTV's Video Music Awards in which she was rumored to be preforming in.

A music insider told page six, "Timbaland set aside a week out of his crazy schedule to do this - and then, just before she was supposed to fly out, Britney abruptly canceled the session and refused to do the song."

Obviously Jive is very worried about the former pop stars behavior and her rash decision to not go forward with the hit. What is she thinking? I mean, Justin and Timbaland...when is that NOT going to be a hit? This could have been the chance for America's sweetheart to make her way back into all of our hearts!

Source

And in case you don't know where my title comes from...only the funniest part of a "The Office" episode!

2007-08-22T11:09:00.000-04:00

Just Her Luck!

Files may be charged against Lindsay Lohan today, however, the DA in connection with her case may not file charges against her at all regarding her two DUIs. One charge we most definitely will not see show up? Cocaine possession. What else might not show up in court? Lindsay herself! If Linds is not charged with a felony (cocaine possession and possession of cocaine in a correctional faciltity) then she is not required to show up for court. Seeing as Lindsay is living it up in sleepaway camp, whoops, again I made that mistake...rehab she probably won’t show up to court and will get charged with two misdemeanors for her two DUI’s. What’s that mean? Linds will have to serve a minimum of 4 days in jail.

Now…I know that what Lindsay did was WAY worse than what Paris Hilton did and Paris was in jail for much longer than 4 days, so why the ease on Lindsay’s sentence? Don’t we want her to LEARN a lesson and not take the easy road? Well, I say as long as she is sober while driving down that easy road, lets let her take that route, plus I doubt the friends Lindsay will make in jail will be a great influence on her staying on the straight and narrow.

Source

2007-08-21T15:02:00.001-04:00

UH OH MTV Mixup!!!

Audrina was on MTV last night with Lauren for The Hills aftershow...where she wore this:

Nicole Scherzinger was also on MTV yesterday when she appeared on TRL...where she wore this:

The MTV stylists for these two shows must not talk! MAJOR fashion mistake, I mean everyone eventually gets caught wearing the same thing bringing us a "who wore it best" war, but to be caught wearing the same thing, on the same day, on the same channel? That's just embarrassing!(maybe THAT'S why Lauren looked so upset when leaving the taping of the aftershow!!)

2007-08-21T14:15:00.000-04:00

How Can a Talentless 20 Something Cash in Big?

Um...be on a reality show...and if you are a big enough jerk, ahem Heidi/Spencer, then you cash in even bigger. Supposedly according to Answer Bitch on EOnline reality TV stars make about $10,000 to $15,000 an episode...if you in 10 episodes a year that's...$100,000-$150,000 a season!! (my financially smart boyfriend told me how to do math like that!) What's a little invasion of privacy if you can get compensation like that!

(Sorry Jenn Bunney, you weren't hated enough or liked enough to be on the show longer so you DO NOT make out like a bandit! Lo, however, keep cashing in we LOVE you!!)

Hey...MTV, VH1, CBS and other channels that love to expose "reality" for all it's worth...I'm REALLY interesting...call me!

Source

2007-08-21T13:47:00.000-04:00

Little Boxes on the Hillside, Little Boxes Made of Ticky-Tacky...

For those of us who fans of the showtime hit Weeds Kevin Nealon (Doug), Hunter Parrish (Silas), and Andy Milder (Dean) perform the title song Little Boxes in true comedic form that can come out of these hilarious characters! Create your own music video depicting the song and you can win $10,000 plus have your video aired on Showtime and Showtime On Demand!

(Don't watch Weeds? You should, it's freaking AWESOME!! Mondays on Showtime at 10:00 EST)

2007-08-21T13:39:00.000-04:00

Maybe Her Shoes Hurt Her??

Why exactly are the hosts from The Hills Aftershow basically carrying LC out of the taping? Maybe she became physically ill after the hosts stated that they thought LC would be hooking up with Justin-Bobby-Sometimes Justin-Sometimes Bobby before the end of the season. Look at Audrina's face...she CLEARLY feels for her!

Source

2007-08-21T10:47:00.000-04:00

Happy Birthday Hayden Panettiere

Men everywhere rejoice that they no longer have to feel creepy about having a crush on Hayden as she turns 18 today!

Unfortunately now all the "To Catch A Predator" creeps have lost a significant underage cheerleader to google :(

2007-08-21T09:41:00.000-04:00

Let Talk About....

First off, this episode was fantastic, it really showed how Audrina has fabulous taste, and how Spencer really is the caring gentleman that we have all grown to love....Right?

OH WAIT...NO IT DIDN'T!! We start off with Heidi apparently blinding Elodie (partially from the hilarity of it all) from across the room with her fabulously fake ring that we all now know is from ICE (that's one step above Claires Accesories my good friends! CLAAAAAAAASY!) Elodie wants the details and Heidi does a good job at not giving any! "Oh well, we were in Santa Barbara, and then we got engaged." Elodie says exactly what is on MY mind..."Wow at your age I would have been like, NO WAY!" Okay so maybe that's not EXACTLY what was on my mind, seeing as in my mind all I heard after she took the ring was sick high pitch laughter, but...close enough! Than Elodie says whats on EVERYONE'S mind and tells Heidi not to buy a dress any time soon...well DUH...The engagement is fake!

During the break Lauren and Lo do a commercial for Pinkberry and Fruity Pebbles. Oh wait, that wasn't the break..that was just a shameless plug! That's reality baby!

On to my next favorite part of the night! Audrina asks LC if she would like to be the 3rd wheel on a date with the charming Justin-Bobby-sometimes Justin-sometimes Bobby so that she can "get to know him". Ohhhhhh and get to know him she did, in fact we all got up close and personal with the smells of his lunch! I think he shouldn't eat any onions cause I swear I smelled that all the way over in NYC!

My favorite part of the date? Lauren asks Prince Charming whether or not he wants to hear her opinion of him...and he (like all the rest of us) simply says, "No, I don't really care." Then she asks him what he thinks of her...and he pulls the worlds FUNNIEST face ever! (either that or he finally just got downwind of that belch!)

Then we move over to Heidi and Spencer, my favorite couple. Spencer does his best this episode to prove to America that he isn't a jerk and that we should all love him like Heidi does! ("When you meet a Spencer at my age, you just know it's right!" Uh...no if I met a Spencer at your age...or ANY age...I would run, run far away from The Hills!) Spencer continues on his quest to piss off Heidi enough so that she will call off the engagement and he does not end up "sexless" as Brody told him he would, by spending money on yet ANOTHER useless item to put in their "bachelor pad" (although to be quite honest since he only goes "shopping" with Brody, I am pretty sure Brody is footing the bill 100 percent of the time).

I think Spencer was sadly mistaken when his mother taught him the word "surprise" since he seems to think a surprise is something that makes you want to hurl blunt objects at his bleach blonde head! I also think Spencer missed the boat on what it means to be "living together", Spencer...contrary to "Pratt belief" it doesn't mean you get to make a "bro pad" and then Heidi just happens to live there with you and your 1980's video games!

So how does Heidi retort? Well at first she takes the passive aggressive route and says to Spence, "Elodie said to me today, 'Oh Spencer doesn't ask your opinion on things? You two don't make your decisions together?' and I thought to myself, 'Well, I guess we don't make decisions together!'" Yeah...nice try Heidi, he clearly isn't going to get your subtleties, and he proves this by responding, "I love this power I have." What? The power to make America want to throw up on a daily basis? (note to self...this is NOT the super power I want when I become a superhero!)

So what does Heidi do next? She takes her stand to an aggressive level and paints over the "beautiful mural" that Spencer "surprised" her with. Oh Heidi, thank you for letting me like you again for a nano-second, now just realize this is the REST OF YOUR LIFE if you stay with this idiot, dump him, crawl back to Lauren and become the doormat that we will all learn to love again!

P.S. I have never seen a 23 year old guy get SO bitchy and so pissy over something in my entire life! It was pretty much awesome! "I surprised you with a beautiful mural, you surprised me with a boring white wall!"

Oh Lauren/LC when will you ever find a roommate with a boyfriend who doesn't hate you?

2007-08-21T09:28:00.000-04:00

Amber Talks to God...

...And according to her...God talks back...

Amber in the diary room after being nominated on 8/19: I'm not worried. If everything pans out the way God's told me it will, I'm going to win POV."

Is Amber in a super secret alliance? WITH GOD?!

2007-08-21T09:00:00.000-04:00

Happy Birthday Brody....

Again...and again...and again...

I, like everyone else like to drag out my birthday as long as possible...(hey when else can you go out to dinner every night? And when else can you pull the "But it's my birthday" line when wanting out of something?) However..this is just ridiculous...Brody is now on his second or third or fourth birthday, (one in the Bahamas, one in Las Vegas, one in Miami) I certainly didn't have my birthday in more than one state...but than again, I'm not as cool as Brody Jenner! (or am I?)

I'm sure he will have a couple of more before the end of the weekend (Even though his birthday is today!)...hmmmm I wonder if we can kill the suspense already, I am DYING to know if Spencer shows up at any of these parties! Are they friends, aren't they? I cant stand this tension!!

2007-08-20T16:55:00.000-04:00

Um....EXCUSE ME?!

This is a picture of the CW11.

This is a picture of Kevin Federline on a basketball court.

This is a picture of the CW11 brains when they decided to give K-Fab a role on One Tree Hill....

Any questions?!

...I guess the CW11 is trying to get him some "employment" so that they too can join in the "Save Britney's Kids" battle...still...A BAD IDEA!!!!

source

2007-08-20T16:24:00.000-04:00

Lock Your Doors, Paris Clone Escapes!!

We have all heard about the cloning experiments on those poor little sheep (poor dolly!) And I am sure most of you suffered through The Island's bad acting as I did...but no one ever saw this one coming!

Do you think its possible that Paris went and cloned herself just in case she didn't make it in jail?! 'Cause if so...I think I just found her on www.Nordstroms.com. Wonky eye and all, Paris' clone done escaped!

Source

2007-08-20T13:30:00.000-04:00

I Know This Picture is Old.....

But seriously...can this go without words? Actually I guess it can...because I cant seem to find the words to describe exactly what had to be going through Kayne West's mind when he woke up this morning and put on this pair of sunglasses...was he going to a 3D movie?! Did he lose a bet?

How much do you think that other guy is getting paid to wear those glasses with Kayne? I hope a lot!

2007-08-20T13:21:00.000-04:00

Kristen Bell to Return to TV!!

So...what did I do all summer?! Well...I watched the entire season of Heroes on http://www.nbc.com/ of course! And what did I learn from this? Well...that it was an awesome show and I cannot wait until the next season starts!

Why do I bring this obvious statement up? Well my favorite girl Kristen Bell will finally be returning the the small screen after the cancellation of her CW11 show Veronica Mars and after reports that she turned down LOST (um...seriously?! What was she thinking on that one?!)

Apparently she was thinking...hey I don't like islands with creepy smoke monsters too much , but I sure do love me some super powers! Get set to see the feisty blonde bombshell in October when she will play a character named Elle who may or may not be a good guy, it's debatable since the first time we see her she is committing a serious crime! source

2007-08-20T13:08:00.000-04:00

Trump to Save Hollywood, One Messed up Blonde at a Time!

I think that we should all thank Mr. Trump for the efforts he is about to put forth when it comes to restoring our faith in the young role models of Hollywood. Page Six is reporting that Donald Trump is "in talks" with none other than Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, and even possibly Lindsay Lohan about appearing on a Celebrity Version of his ever famous and self proclaimed "top show in the country" The Apprentice.

The goal? Resurrect the careers of young women that have tarnished their good names with their wild child ways.

Hmmm....Mr. Trump, you can erect HUGE buildings anywhere and turn bankruptcy into a multimillion dollar company, but do you have enough power in you to bring the old Britney back or to make Lindsay Lohan release the urge to snort the white stuff?

Please, please, please let this not be a rumor!! Source

Oh...and Trump...You might have some trouble getting Lindsay back to LA, she looks like she is enjoying sleepaway camp...Whoops...I mean rehab!

2007-08-20T12:57:00.000-04:00

For those of us that love Labs...or any dog for that matter like a child, or more than one,(ahem, Amber from Big Brother!) You might be interested to know that Marley, the "world's worst dog" is coming to the big screen.

Who are his on screen co-stars you ask? None other than Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston who will be playing John Grogan and his wife who adopt the lovable dog as a practice run for parenthood.

For those of us who were never able to even make it through the book because they didn't want to read the inevitable ending...a box of tissues is suggested for this heartwarming film! (By the way...are we sure that Owen Wilson can do heartwarming?)

source

2007-02-27T14:44:00.000-05:00

Finally a Role Lindsay Wont Have to Prepare For....

(is this her body double?)

Because I am sure being a teenage drama queen, a mean girl, or fully loaded were HUGE stretches for her!

For Lindsay's next role she will portray an exotic dancer who develops split personality disorder in I Know Who Killed Me....I am sure she has some nights out where she can encounter quite a few people like this...and I am sure she can find a character just like this somewhere in herself as well!

2007-02-27T14:35:00.000-05:00

You May Be The Richest of Young Hollywood.....

But accccck that hair is just too too scary...and really, I am sure they can afford some tights without runs in them? No?

Forbes Magazine just came out with it's first every "Young Hollywood" list of the highest earners under the age of 21 and you guessed it Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen topped that list off. Who was on the top 5 you ask?

1) Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, age 20 $40 million
2) Daniel Radcliffe, age 17, $13 million
3) Lindsay Lohan, age 20, $6 million
4) Dakota Fanning, age 13, $4 million
5) Amanda Bynes, age 20, $2.5 million

2007-02-27T12:25:00.000-05:00

Jess: Britney did WHAT to her hair?

Jess: Me...NO WAY would I shave my head...my hair is too pretty!

Jess: Although....maybe it would get me some attention.....naaaah

2007-02-27T12:19:00.000-05:00

Do You Think Mischa's Dog Thinks Like The Above The Influence Dog?

Mischa's Doggie: Mischa- You so TOTALLY disaapoint me!

Mischa: Whatever...You're still here? The Above the Influence Dog at least made a stand and LEFT!

2007-02-17T21:50:00.000-05:00

The 10 Stages of Britney Post Justin Era

1. Lose Career and respect as soon as you start to dating K-Fabulous.

2. Lose more respect from your public as soon as you marry K-Fab.

3. Lose even more respect from your public when you drive with child in lap/almost drop child/go on TV with Matt Lauer when your fake eyelashes are falling off.

4. Lose your husband.

5. Lose your underwear.

6. Gain back underwear, but still continue to lose clothes and fashion sense day by day.

7. Lose your will to destroy your life and enter rehab.

8. Lose your will to change your life, exit rehab.

9. Lose your mind.

10. Lose your hair.

lets all hope we can update this list with a number 11: Brit Turns Her Life Around and Becomes the Superstar We'll All Once Knew and Loved!

2007-02-12T16:39:00.000-05:00

Did Britney Puke? Cause....I Just Did!

Regardless of how her outfit makes me feel, Britney too may have thrown up this weekend. According to sources Britney was partying it up in NYC this weekend at Tenjune (Elly...You missed her by a day!!!) When her SUV pulled out with the princess of pop inside, it was covered in throw up. G-ROSS!! Did that deter the woman from going out hard again? No way! She was seen later at Club One at what looks to be a party for beginner strippers. Just so you all know...it is STILL about 14-17 degrees here at night contrary to what Britney's outfit may suggest.

2007-02-08T15:52:00.000-05:00

Anna Nicole Smith Dies

According to CNN a law enforcement official reported Anna Nicole Smith has been found dead in her hotel room, she was found collapsed on the floor and was rushed to the hospital. TMZ reported that she was found at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Hollywood, Florida, and was rushed to Memorial Regional Hospital in Hollywood just after 2 p.m. ET. If you want more information click here. :(

2007-02-08T15:44:00.000-05:00

PLEASE STOP CHANGING YOUR HAIR COLOR!!!!!!

This guy behind Jess looks like he is so exhausted from all of the hair color changes...and to be quite honest, I am too! I really wonder if this is a whole "wig" episode again, or if she really has given up on her signature blond locks to join the brunettes of the world.

2007-02-08T11:49:00.000-05:00

How Do You Think This Conversation Went?

Teri: Mr. Bush, it is such a honor to meet you, thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule of.....yeah, thanks for coming to have lunch with me!

Bush: You're welcome, are you that nice girl that wrote that ridiculous book Burnt Toast? What was that about?! Even George W. couldn't get through it!

Teri: I have some signed copies in the car...let's go get some!! Teri: I'm no Cameron Diaz...
Bush: Tell me about it!
Teri: Oooooo...yeah, I mean, I don't drive a fuel efficient car...OH WAIT...you're a Bush, you're okay with that!

Bush: Okay...thanks for the book, now on to much more important things...the Axis of Evil...Alma and her mother...what WILL happen next?!!

Teri: Well I can tell you all about the laughable incidents I get in with Mike and my new boyfriend.

Bush: More Alma...less Teri!

Just kidding I am sure they had a MUCH more interesting conversation, I think that these two have a LOT in common...maybe....

2007-02-07T15:11:00.000-05:00

Confused....VERY Confused!

People...help me out here...should I be appalled that Britney has already worn the first outfit out already...and I think it was even when she was pregnant?! Or should I be happy that at least she is wearing underwear again...and that someone felt the need to point it out to the world?!

I am also confused at the fact that she seems to be wearing a rather large star of David...and last time I checked...she wasn't at my temple for High Holiday Services....I could be wrong though...I think I am not!

2007-01-31T14:16:00.000-05:00

Happy Happy Birthday....Justin!

Justin turns the ripe old age of 26 today! If anyone sees him give him a birthday kiss for me! :)

also turning a year older today...

Minnie Driver

Portia de Rossi

and

Anthony Lapaglia

2007-01-26T16:53:00.000-05:00

Fashion 101

I am sure not one man in the world will agree with me on this one...but most women will....Jessica meet fashion tape....(or double sided tape, your choice) Fashion tape meet Jessica...

Since they haven't formally met yet, I will take this opportunity to introduce the world to Jessica's ENTIRE boob!

To learn more about Fashion Tape Click HERE. Something every girl should have in her bag o' tricks!

2007-01-26T16:48:00.000-05:00

Rehab Huh?

I must have missed the day when they teach you that rehab works if you are there for a week....Interesting since Lindsay seems to have been cured dramatically fast, maybe she has Magic Johnson's doctor? (No...not okay to joke about?) She might want to go to rehab for that outfit choice!

2007-01-26T16:41:00.000-05:00

Tell Me These Two AREN'T Dating!

...and I won't believe it! Not one word of it! They are TOTALLY dating! Although after John Mayer so adamantly denied their relationships....I don't know if I would still date him.

2007-01-26T16:34:00.000-05:00

Justin's Moved On?

Well...Cameron did...so why would it be so wrong for Justin to?

Supposedly Jessica Biel and Justin are fanning the flames of their new romance! Jessica flew out to Sundance to see the Alpha Dog himself! So...who thinks that Cameron will FLIP out when she finds out about this? Like Justin and Cameron's relationship this relationship seems to be based on a boarded sport as well as the two have been seen snowboarding together! Hmm...Jessica and Justin...I don't know if I buy it but they would be a power couple...hey as long as she stays away from my Chis Evans she can date whoever she wants!

2007-01-19T16:37:00.000-05:00

In an atempt to keep her privacy private...Fergie has taken to holding her engagement ring in her bag while out in public.

Um...You are engaged to Josh Duhamel...flash that rock around baby.

2007-01-19T16:30:00.000-05:00

Beth: "Why are you so sad Brit?"

Britney: "Well...I kinda look like that lil boy Alfalfa from the lil raaaascals...I dont know what to do!!"

Beth: "Well...you could always try a brush? No?"

Britney: "hahahaah What's a brush? I think I'll just go like this...it should stay down with my magical powers that Fed-Ex was always talking about!!"

Beth: "Um...Brit...I dont think that worked."

Britney: "Shoot Y'all..."

2007-01-19T16:24:00.000-05:00

It's a New Year...And a New Leaf

I'm back baby! In spirit of the new year my resolution is to bring the gossip to all of you once again in my own little way! I may not post everyday, but I will post at least once a week so check back often!

Don't ever say I wasn't here for you!

2007-01-19T15:06:00.000-05:00

I am really not sure if either of these two could be any cuter! Gwen looks AWESOME as usual, and Kingston is just to DIE for in this picture!!

2007-01-19T15:03:00.000-05:00

Shopping Sprees/Rehab/Throwing the Peace Sign

All in a day in the life of Lindsay Lohan. Apparently before leaving for Rehab Linds went on a shopping spree and was outfitted in Retribution clothing. Linds, I get it, a girl can't go to rehab without a brand new wardrobe! Rock on with your drunken self!

2007-01-19T14:56:00.000-05:00

Someone Alert Yoko Ono....Britney is Stealing Her Image

This girl....is unreal, I really thought that this divorce from Kevin would help us to see the old Britney again, but all we seem to be getting is the "this is getting old" Britney!

2007-01-19T12:16:00.000-05:00

They Sure Do Move On Fast

Just weeks after their split it seems as though Cameron Diaz is asking, "Justin Who?" as she has been seen about town with hottie surfer Kelly Slater.

Does this mean that now Britney and Justin might snuggle up again? Unlikely! TMZ was told that Justin thinks Britney's recent behavior is just too toxic for his taste, and, says one music-industry source, "His career is going in a completely different direction – he doesn't need or want Britney around anymore."

The break up hurt him...and the marriage to K-Fab...Didn't quite make Justin want to run back into the arms of Britney...I don't blame him, he doesn't want whatever K-Fab gave her! :)

2006-10-25T11:44:00.000-04:00

Jennifer and Vince...Still On

So leave them alone! Let's be honest, when we see the enquirer headline reading "Vince Vaughn with Another Woman" Do we REALLY care anymore? I mean the two of them denied their relationship for so long and now they are trying to legitimize it? Ugh...you take take take and now you want to give give give...I can't keep up!

On another note though how great does Jennifer look at the Glamour Short Film Series? Someone is clearly glowing and in love!

2006-10-25T11:37:00.000-04:00

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

And this one couldn't be any more true!

2006-10-25T11:18:00.000-04:00

Sticky Fingaz! NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Sticky Fingaz has gone and done quite possibly the dumbest thing ever. He has given K-Fab a chance!! Thanks to rapper/actor Sticky Fingaz Kevin Federline will be making his debut on the Big Screen. (and I am not talking about one of the obscenely large TV's I'm sure Kevin bought with his "own money", I am talking about movies folks!) He will star in a hip-hop musical called "Caught on Tape". According to Fingaz, "This is a hardcore musical - lots of violence, sex, action, drama, plus sentiment and romance as well. It's Kev Fed's (movie) acting debut. He's really cool."

Uh...cool? Someone must have slipped some crazy into Sticky Fingaz Lucky Charms the morning he decided to cast this moron!

2006-10-25T11:11:00.000-04:00

Madonna to Appear on Oprah Today

Madonna wanted to adopt a baby while in the African nation of Malawi. Angelina does it like everyday...easy enough right? Well...something tells me that when Angelina adopted her children from other countries this wasn't what ensued:

"Local human rights groups have since gone to court, challenging the Malawian
government's decision to allow Madonna to adopt David. They believe that Madonna
used her wealth and celebrity to fast track the adoption. News outlets have also
recently reported that David's birth father, whom originally was in support of
the adoption, claims to not have fully understood what he was saying when he
encouraged the adoption."

So the drama! And Oprah is right on cue to come out and interview Madonna...now the question is, will Madonna try and adopt Oprah and then call it quits on David? Find out today on Oprah!

2006-10-25T10:57:00.000-04:00

J.J. Yeah...That'll Work

TMZ has announced the real name and the real sex of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline's second child. Although I still think that Brit and K-Fab should have gone with the name Frap Achino Spears Federline I guess that Jayden James Federline will suffice. I mean...they can DEFINITLY trash up a name like J.J. (sorry J.J. Abrams, but it's true!)

TMZ has proof of the birth certificate...so it's offical...Britney did NOT have a girl and the baby will not be called Sutton Pierce (THANK GOD for that, who needs two kids with names that closely related...y'all know Kevin wouldn't be able to figure that one out!)

Wanna catch a TOTAL stalker glimpse of the little one? Watch the video where you can ALMOST see Jayden here!

2006-10-22T17:25:00.000-04:00

New Found Friends?!

Ashlee Simpson (who is thinking of following in Madonna's footsteps and dropping the "Simpson"...Um...Madonna and Ashlee not really on the same page artistically)and Fergie were seen leaving Mr. Chow's together...I wonder how they became friends, maybe they met in the plastic surgeon's waiting room?

2006-10-22T16:43:00.000-04:00

LC savoring sloppy Seconds Again?

Looks like LC really has a thing for Kristin Cavalari's ex-boyfriends, as now she has been seen trotting around town with Brody Jenner....You know the Prince of Malibu that WAS dating Kristin Cavallari and then Nicole Ritchie? Well...I guess no one can say that Brody doesn't have a "type"!

And DEFINITELY no one can say that LC doesn't have a type...She clearly only like ABD boys (already been dated!) First it was Stephen, then Jason, now Brody...I can't wait until this relationship goes public!

2006-09-28T13:28:00.000-04:00

Is productivity low in your company? Want to hire a real go getter? Well...Why not hire K-Fed?! I am sure he would LOVE to make his own money instead of living off of his wife, and you would get the bonus of having a self-proclaimed super star on your staff.

How will I get his resume? You ask? Simple, buy it off eBay! It's pretty compelling stuff people!

2006-09-15T11:03:00.000-04:00

K-Fabuloso's CD Cover

Get excited people, I know you are all going to go out and buy this AWESOME CD! Okay, I know that no one is actually going to buy it, but I might download it (shhhhh, don't tell anyone!)

The CD entitled, Playing with Fire (which I think accurately describes his lifestyle and relationship with Britney!) will include a song featuring none other than Mrs. Federline herself. Also contributing to the album will be Bosko and Ya Boy. Here is a list of tracks that will be on the CD, I include them not only so that you can all guiltily download his songs and be a "closet Kevin fan", but also because many of the titles are just dead on funny!

The World is Mine

America's Most Hated (well...Aren't you giving yourself a lot of credit, I'm sure 80 percent of America doesn't know you...And I am sure that a little man named "OSAMA" might be a little higher on their "hate" list!!)

Snap

Loose Control

Dance with a Pimp (hahahahahahhahaha)

Privilege (hahahahhahahahahahahhahahah!!!)

Crazy feat. Britney Spears

A League of My Own (Your telling me!!)

Playing with Fire

Caught Up

Keep on Talkin'

Just awesome....Absolutely PRICELESS!

2006-09-14T12:27:00.000-04:00

Anna Nicole Smith Sedated

Um...I know that what happened is sad, and it may not be appropriate to make jokes...But isn't Anna Nicole always sedated? Further more...Her lawyers name is Michael Scott, someone might want to get her a new lawyer because I am fairly certain that Michael Scott only exist as the boss at Dunder Mifflin!

But in all seriousness, what has happened to Anna Nicole Smith's son is a tragedy...One can only hope that the birth of her new baby can bring a little light and happiness into her life in a not so happy time. Article here.

2006-09-14T12:12:00.000-04:00

The Curse of the Reality TV Show Strikes AGAIN!

However, this time MTV is not to blame. So it seems as though my tirade on how MTV breaks up marriages was all in vain...I admit it, sorry MTV...It looks as though it is all "Marriage Reality Shows" that the divorce lawyers are backing these days! Bobby and Whitney who stared in Bravo's "Being Bobby Brown" have decided to call it quits for real this time. After 14 years of a tumultuous marriage it looks like Whitney has finally sobered up and realized that she needs to get away from Bobby.

So what did we learn today kids? Don't go on a reality show about your marriage unless you know a good divorce lawyer that needs some money!

2006-09-13T16:04:00.000-04:00

Big Brother Seven

sooooo...For everyone that lost interest in Big Brother All Stars when Janelle and Will were kicked out...I feel you...For those of you that liked Mike..I understand that too...but I don't think he deserved to win...And for all of you who felt SO badly for Erika when CBS totally outed Mike using her on national television and expected a reaction out of her...yeah I felt AWFUL too!

Soooo Mike won, and if you all want to help him celebrate feel free, but I am not going to...and guess where the celebration is?! ONE OF HIS RESTAURANTS HE TALKS ABOUT ALL THE TIME!!! Surprised? Yeah me etiher!

Here is Mike's letter to his "fans":

A message to my fans:
Hi, this is Mike "Boogie" Malin. Thanks for visiting my official website.
Thanks for watching the show all summer. I will be having a big party at Les Deux on Monday, September 18 2006. I love my fans and want you to send me an email and come and celebrate with me. If you cannot make the party, come visit me at one of my restaurants or night clubs when you are in Los Angeles, Atlanta, or Reno.
Thanks again for the best summer ever!
Mike "Boogie" Malin

Oh...and could Mike PLEASE get some real clothes? He is no longer stuck in the big brother house and no longer has any excuse to be wearing athletic shorts! Visit his site here

2006-09-13T15:51:00.000-04:00

Predictions About Little Baby Spears-Federline.

So we all know that K-Fabulous and Britney had their second baby boy, but the questions on everyone's mind right now are A) will the birth of Britney's second child with Kevin trump the scandal that is Suri? And B) what will they name the child?

While I cannot really tell you if this birth will eliminate all the "hype" (that, lets be completely honest, no one REALLY cares about it, we are just all talking about it until another scandal comes around!), I can make some predictions on the name of the next Spears-Federline child! And, if we are lucky enough for her to pick something totally outrageous, we may never hear of Suri Cruise again! (or at least until all the chatter about Britney being an abusive mom and naming her child something obscene!)

Here are some of my ideas, feel free to add some of your own in the comment area and I will be sure to post them!!

Since Britney was big on the "Two First Names" the first time around I was thinking here are some options she could use if she wanted to continue with this trend:

Bobby John (because really who can resist having the initials BJ bestowed on your child!)

Billy Jean (because lets be honest, Britney will totally miss the boat on the fact that Billy Gene is a girl!)

Billy Bob (we all know she has seen and probably lived the movie "Varsity Blues" so why not name her kid after him??)

Nash Bridges (simply because Walker Texas was already taken by Will Farrell in Talladega Nights!)

Frap Achino (after Britney's favorite Starbucks drink. I bet she thinks Frap would sound "classy"!)

Then we all heard about her wanting to name her child Jailyn if it were a girl to combine the names of her parents (Lynne Spears and Jaime Spears) So if it's a boy why not try and combine her and Kevin's name to make a wonderful creation that will only cause this little boy more ridicule. (as if his parents weren't a big enough source) So this is what I came up with:

Kritney
Or
Kevny

Then there are the obvious choices...why not name the child after things that remind you of your pregnancy. In most people cases this would be "hope" or "faith" or something along those lines...for Britney I believe she might chose:

Cheeto
Star Bucks
Or...
Accident! (You know that kid WILL get ahold of the article in which she admits that he was a mistake and not in the least bit planned! Poor kid!)

Or maybe Kevin will win the fight and the child will be named "Superstar" (like he proclaims himself to beAtor Federation Records...at least then something labelbe a prodWhaton that lable!

So...what are you ideas?!

2006-09-12T12:08:00.000-04:00

A Second K-Fab Boy is Born???

according to the national enquirer Britney has given birth to another baby boy. Which means that now the Federline name has 3 chances to carry on Kevin's legacy...And what a legacy it is!

"Pop princess Britney Spears gave birth to a 6 pound, 11 ounce baby boy just
before 2 a.m., September 12th at a Los Angeles hospital, insiders told The
ENQUIRER in an exclusive."Kevin took Britney to the hospital in the evening
hours of Sept. 11 to prepare for the Cesarean birth," an insider said. Only her
mother Lynn, and her sister Jamie Lynn were present at the birth. None of
Kevin's family was there.Right after the baby was born, Kevin got the word out
to his family and close friends.Britney wanted to have her second child on
September 14, the first birthday of Sean Preston but Kevin put his foot down,
the source said. He didn't want the kids to have the same birthday."

2006-09-12T11:57:00.000-04:00

Someone Got the Memo About Fixing Up Her Image

...But someone did not! Ashley Olsen is looking a lot less "hobo-ish" and a lot less "sickly skinny" lately...And I must say, it suits her well.

Mary Kate on the other hand has not taken out her abnormally too long extensions even though EVERYONE has said that they look terrible! Nor has she listened to our countless pleas in the blog-o-sphere to gain some weight. Maybe once Ashley starts getting more attention Mary Kate will get jealous and being healthy looking and not homeless looking will be in again! (I know...gaaaaaaaasp! Looking like you aren't homeless and healthy being in fashion! It'll happen!)

2006-09-12T11:05:00.000-04:00

Tom and Katie Back Out and About!

...But sans baby Suri...I guess the "lease" on her ran out! I am totally buying into the whole "this kid is really Chris Klein's baby" story. (by the way...What's with the umbrella? These two are just TOOOOOO weird!)

"The story goes that when Katie Holmes split with her exboyfriend Chris Klein in March 2005, she may or may not have realized she was pregnant with his baby. She started dating Tom in April, 2005, and according to this tale, when Tom found out she was expecting, he not only didn't MIND , but he insisted on taking credit for the pregnancy. They abruptly got engaged in June 2005. Since the baby was scheduled to be born too soon into their relationship, Tom and Katie faked the birth date. She actually gave birth months EARLIER than the announced birth. She wore padding for the last few months after the REAL birth, and made sure she was photographed. In case you don't remember, Suri's announced April 18 birth was oddly undocumented - there were no hospital records or specifics. Where WAS Suri born? Tom and Katie didn't want their baby photographed because it would be apparent that Suri wasn't newborn. After a few months it's not so easy to recognize a baby's exact age. Have you noticed that Suri has uniquely slanted eyes like Chris Klein?"

2006-09-12T10:54:00.000-04:00

Ditch the Blonde...Keep the Extensions!

In what looks like an attempt to distance herself from her famously blonde sister Jessica, Ahslee has opted to go a tad bit darker, and I must say...I like this happy medium on her. She is very lucky that most hair colors look good on her. And her new sketchers ad...Not too shabby, I'm not in L.O.V.E. with the pictures, but I am not hating them either. More importantly can anyone tell me who is she dating now, since she seems to have dumped her band mate?! We may soon have a "no doubt" feeling going on with Ashlee Simpson and her band!

2006-09-12T10:28:00.000-04:00

Time To Pull The Bulimic Trigger

Does this picture freak anyone else out but me? I almost never want to eat again...even Fat Joe looks like he has had too much!!

2006-09-12T09:57:00.000-04:00

Where am I?! This is SO NOT the ballet Matthew promised to bring me too!!!

Jake needed some down time with Austin after having way too much testosterone at the Texas Longhorns game...

The couple that dressed together...stays together!

Hmm...Jake, Matt and Lance like the Longhorns why?

2006-09-12T09:49:00.000-04:00

Remember when I told you all that someone needed to stop suppressing Jessica because she always looks so shocked?

Well Carmen Electra is apparently taking her name VERY literally as it seems she is going with the "I stuck my finger in an electrical socket" look. Carmen, just because your name is Electra...Does not mean that this is a good means of waking yourself up in the morning!

She is REALLY acting out after this whole Dave Navarro break up...Looks like someone is trying to tempt Dennis Rodman back into her life!

2006-09-07T14:15:00.000-04:00

Paris Blows!

(Insert joke here)...a .08! Looks like blowing has gotten Paris in trouble yet again. On her way home from a charity event and an all day session of filming a music video Paris was stoped while "driving eratically". She claims it was her "empty stomach" and her "ONE drink" at the charity event that pushed her over the edge and caused her to drive like a moron. Thata girl Paris, blame your DUI on charity cases!

2006-09-05T21:56:00.000-04:00

Harry is a Caring Boyfriend...

See many of you have seen the pictures already of Lindsay's boyfriend Harry groping her in public, but maybe if you all got your minds out of the gutter you would realize he was just giving her an examination....He is such a good boyfriend, we should all be so lucky!

Oh wait...I forgot this is Lindsay Lohan and he is CLEARLY groping her in public because that's how she rolls! I can't wait until Harry proposes...I have some good money on their engagement lasting about 5 months!

2006-09-05T21:44:00.000-04:00

Unfortunately while filming a documentary on the Great Barrier Reef a sting ray stabbed Steve Irwin in the heart causing his untimely death. He leaves behind a wife and his beautiful little daughter. It's a sad, sad time for discovery lovers like myself, he was one of the greatest animal lovers in the world and a very unique person. His death is too soon and very sad, but at least he died doing something he loved...Steve Irwin will be greatly missed by humans and crocodiles all the world over. :(

2006-09-05T21:34:00.000-04:00

Could It Be? Is It So??

Suri....Suri Cruise...Is that you?! According to the buzz it looks like Suri Cruise will debut in Vanity Fair...And thanks to JustJared.com I have seen the little girl and now you have too. But now really, lets be honest, without a DNA test how am I supposed to know that this is ACTUALLY their child? I mean, when you are a celebrity 4 months and millions of dollars can buy you silence and a baby....So what do you all think?

2006-09-01T17:23:00.000-04:00

This is that Hip Hopp Flava Mixed With a Lil Bit of Rock n' Roll!

And now I fully concede.....I think I love K-Fab new song...and I think I'm a lil bit obssesed with the video as well! HELP!!!

Thanks Steph!

2006-08-28T22:11:00.000-04:00

Kristin On Nicole

Kristin might not have been questioned about Nicole Ritchie's relationship with her x-boytoy Brody Jenner...But she does have something to say about Ritchie's weight.

2006-08-28T21:52:00.000-04:00

And Some More...September 5th People!!!!!! Get the DVR and Tivo Ready!

2006-08-28T21:46:00.000-04:00

And Simply Because This is My FAVORITE Show!

Nip/Tuck season 4 premiere!! (3 more episodes and this Nip/Tuck addict is caught up!!)

2006-08-28T21:30:00.000-04:00

Awkward Moments

So we all know that when Jessica Simpson was on TRL this year it was dangerously close to the release of the pertinent information about Nick and Vanessa's "relationship" status....We were all on pins and needles hoping to see an awkward interview between the two lovely ladies in Nick's life, unfortunately, that didn't happen. Then we were wondering what the Teen Choice Awards would be like...But once again aside from Nick's "awkward" comment...Nothing went down there either.

So now all we have left are the VMA's...Will the two bump heads here? Well, don't hold your breath, apparently Vanessa is banned from interviewing Jessica, however, she is allowed to interview Nick (and we all saw their TRL interview...sick!)

Jess and Vaness also will have dressing rooms in separate BUILDINGS! MTV is doing everything to accommodate the divorced couple as they do not want any witnesses seeing them encounter...And to be honest, I don't blame them.

Honestly though, how awesome would a Jessica/Vanessa interview/catfight have been? Jess would WRECK Vanessa!

2006-08-28T21:08:00.000-04:00

Eonline Has Apparently LOST Their Minds!

I mean to make a calendar of "Strangely Sexy Men" is a cool idea...Until you get to August and you see the mug of the month...Who just happens to be Brandon Davis. Okay, now lets get serious for a second...Even if he was slightly attractive, which he CLEARLY isn't, his personality totally would kill anything cool about him in the least bit! G-ROSS Eonline!!!! Then you venture a little further into the year and you hit Mr. December....K-Fab himself! And I know, I know, I said I liked his performance at the Teen Choice Awards...And I know that was shocking...And sometimes I do admit to finding him "alright" looking...But Eonline reminded me...You are the company you keep, and he is in a calendar with Brandon Davis, Cisco Adler, Charlie Sheen....Yeah....Strangely Sexy...Or just strange?! Maybe this is an April fools joke gone bad! I guess he is Mr. December because it would be a nice holiday gift to us all if he would just go away....

Oh...P.S. He is about to ruin my favorite show when CBS apparently loses their minds as well and gives him a guest role on CSI....WITH LINES!

2006-08-28T18:21:00.000-04:00

He's a Cold Hearted Snake....

Look into to his eyes...uh oh, Paula's stylists been telling lies! Who let her out of the house looking like that? I hope for her sake she was HEAVILY intoxicated and medicated when picking out this outfit!

2006-08-28T18:17:00.000-04:00

Hahahahaah Vanessa Swings...and Misses!

Apparently Vanessa didn't learn a lot from her former Yankee playing boyfriend! Instead of hitting a homerun with her red carpet dress, Vanessa struck out BIG time here! Not only does she look like she might have recycled this dress from her beauty pageant days, but it also looks like she might have snagged it from the way back of her closet...You know where the clothes are from where she was 12..Because this dress DEFINITELY does NOT fit her! Too bad Vanessa, you thought you had it made snagging Jessica's former man, but maybe you should have tried to snag the stylist first!

2006-08-28T18:03:00.000-04:00

It's official!!

Brody Jenner likes skinny girls...I mean...Brody Jenner and Nicole Ritchie are dating!! The two were spotted leaving Vitamin Barn in Malibu this past Saturday. Not only were they together, but they also committed the Hollywood sin of holding hands and NOT telling us whether or not they really are together! Oh well, I guess we can speculate, I mean, I'm not above gossiping! Sooooo...Nicole and Brody, I wonder what my girl Kristin would say....

Well...I know that she would say about Nicole's fall...Well more so what she would do, and that would be laugh! Nicole and her six inch wedge heels took a spill while out with Brody...is it karma? Or is it the fact that her super skinny legs cannot support her??

2006-08-24T18:04:00.000-04:00

Let Me apologize....

For not warning you...I have received countless emails asking what happened (please! Like you guys aren't used to this!!). I have recently started a new job so posting will be spoty. I have been toying with the idea of posting when I get home at night. For a while it may just be pictures, but eventually I will get into a ritual and So Tres will be back to normal! Please please please be patient, I promise, I will be back sooner rather than later :)

2006-08-21T16:10:00.000-04:00

More Teen Choice...

So Tres the winner of the best line of the night, "Can you say Awkward?!"

So Tres the winner of "Shocking" me....either Kristin Cavallari has a really big head, or Kristen Bell has a REALLY small one!

2006-08-21T11:28:00.000-04:00

Teen Choice Awards!!

Um...someone needs to stop surprising this girl!!

Jessica looks really happy to be named "Hottest" celeb!

Does it LOOK like there is chemistry here?!!

Wow...Ashley actually looks GREAT!

This show was, um, intersting. It seemed to be poorly planned to be quite honest and the podium speeches were....well...interesting. (I.E. Orlando Bloom saying that he had a sweating problem?? And Nick Lachey's opening words "awkward"!) Most awesomely bad terrific moment though...OBVIOUSLY K-Fed's performance. And even though Stephanie made fun of me for saying it, I will say it again....It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be!

2006-08-18T12:27:00.000-04:00

Does This Look Like a Cuddly Pet??

Britney Spears might be a better mom than the tabloids make her out to be...

She has told Kevin Federline that he needs to get rid of his 6 Australian Grey Nurse Sharks because she doesn't feel safe having them around with her two small children running around the house. (P.S. I thought that Kevin was broke....If he is so broke, how did he buy the sharks? And how is he affording the upkeep? Someone is CLEARLY a kept man!) So anyway, Kevin is clearly NOT happy about this. A close friend even said, "He really loves them , he even named them." OOOOOOOH you named them Kevin? Well by all means, keep the sharks then, I mean, your children might fall in and get eaten, but at least you would have your pets that you NAMED!!!

Now....Doesn't this make everyone feel better about Britney as a mom? See she does care about the well being of her children....But Sean Preston is about a year old now right? And supposedly he has had these sharks long enough to name them....So Sean and the sharks must have been living in cohabitation for some time right? Yeah....No words can be used to describe this family!

I'm not even sure if I believe this story, I mean it is one thing to let Kevin have a child, you can't really prevent that, but allowing him to have an endangered animal....6 of them? I don't know about that...Although, I guess money talks...

2006-08-18T12:12:00.000-04:00

Cheyenne Kimball Gets Assaulted

...Does this now make her a bona fide star? Or does it mean that her bandmate's wife might just be plain insane? At a wrap party for "Cheyenne" Cheyenne's MTV reality show trouble ensued when the 16 year old was having a conversation with bandmate Joey Clemente. Clemente's wife became enraged and jealous and simply went over to the innocent Cheyenne and punched her in the face!

Cheyenne has no hard feelings towards Clemente's wife and she and Clemente are just friends and nothing more...Sounds to me like a case of a clearly too jealous wife of a clearly...LITTLE GIRL!

...Poor Cheyenne, keep "Hanging onnnnnnnnn, today....." And it will all blow over!

2006-08-17T21:34:00.000-04:00

Tea Paaaar-tay!

Thank you Steph for making me laugh uncontrolbly after and while watching this YouTube Clip! "Where ma wasps at?!"

Which reminds me...have you ever seen The Boat Song by the Webee Boys? (yeah that is Ricky Ulman from Phil of the Future...and I dont care how lame that is...this is so awesome!)

2006-08-17T14:39:00.000-04:00

Countdown 5 Days!

So just in case you didn't get a chance to check out Phat Girlz when it was in movie theaters (even though I told you all to go see it!! I'll forgive you!) Or, if you loved it so much and you cannot wait to see it again...well the countdown begins...only 5 days until the DVD releases on August 22nd. But don't just take my word for it, the reviews speak for themselves, fellow blogger Chemiche wrote a review of the movie here.

Whats the DVD all about? Well read the press release for yourself, and then when you finish that, go pre-order your copy of Phat Girlz and get empowered! (click on the banners for more info!)

Press Release:

THERE'S NO DREAM TOO BIG FOR SOME GIRLS!

Mo'Nique Delivers BIG Laughs In The Outrageous Comedy Bursting Onto DVD
August 22, 2006 From Fox Home Entertainment

CENTURY CITY, Calif . – The stars are big and the laughs are bigger in the
full-bodied comedy Phat Girlz , on DVD August 22, 2006 from Fox Home
Entertainment. Starring funny-lady Mo'Nique ( Soul Plane, “The Parkers”) as
Jazmin, an aspiring plus-size fashion designer who struggles to find acceptance,
Phat Girlz hilariously shows that size does matter — and big is in! Also
starring Kendra C. Johnson (“Bones”), Joyful Drake (Beauty Shop), Godfrey (Soul
Plane) and Eric Roberts (“The L Word”), Phat Girlz dishes up plenty of belly
laughs as Jazmin and her friends find love and success by maximizing their inner
strength and beauty. The Phat Girlz DVD features super-sized bonus material
including a never-before-seen version, director and cast commentary, deleted and
alternate scenes with optional director's commentary, “Supersize Dreams: A
Director's Video Diary,” “The Reel Deal: The Making Of Phat Girlz,” “The
Phattest Guy: A Tribute to Producer Bobby Newmyer,” outtakes and a gag reel. The
DVD will be available for the suggested retail price of $27.98 U.S./$43.48
Canada .

Synopsis:Superstar comedienne Mo'Nique stars as a sassy, plus-sized fashion
designer who's tired of taking no for an answer in this hilarious comedy about
living life to the fullest. Jazmin Biltmore has big plans for large ladies
– she's designed a sexy line of clothes for curvaceous women like herself.
But when she can't get funding for her designs or meet a man who
appreciates her unique physique, Jazmin's patience starts running thin.
That is, until she wins an all-expense-paid trip to a resort in Palm
Springs , where she just might just meet the man of her dreams.

DVD Special Features:The Phat Girlz DVD piles on the extras including a
never-before-seen version, feature commentary by director Nnegest Likke,
Mo'Nique and others, deleted and alternate scenes with optional director's
commentary, “Supersize Dreams: Director's Video Diary,” “The Reel Deal: The
Making Of Phat Girlz,” “The Phattest Guy: A Tribute to Producer Bobby Newmyer,”
outtakes and a gag reel. The DVD will be available in either widescreen (1.85:1)
or pan & scan (1.33:1) on a flipper disc with English 5.1 Dolby Surround, as
well as French and Spanish Dolby Surround.