Let’s Talk About

and

Really nothing else in this episode was as memorable as Spencer Pratt’s facial hair so this post will be named after him. Way to go Spencer, you made it into my heart for about .2 seconds!

Why Spencer decided that this was a good look for him, I cannot even begin to fathom, however I can come up with a few scenarios as to WHY he would grow such a monstrosity on his chin:

1. Spencer, having just finished watching 300 instead of reading about the history of Sparta for his Greek History class, decided he would look totally badass as a Greek God…He was wrong.

2. Spencer is not actually 23 as he continuously claims to be, but instead is only 18. He realizes that with a beard he will have an easier time buying beer when he hands the clerk at the liquor store his ID that boasts the name McLovin…this also was a mistake on his part.

or

3. Spencer has a huge zit and his proactive solution hasn’t come in yet so he grew the beard to cover up the unsightly growth. (The last batch was eaten by Heidi’s dog Bella which like acne, mysteriously disappeared!)

Regardless, I was THRILLED when it was gone the next time we saw him. Now on to bigger problems…Heidi and Spencer seem to be leaving me with a feeling of disconnect after their return from Colorado. Now maybe this is because Spencer truly is “working”, but somehow I clearly doubt that. Their conversation is forced and uncomfortable to watch and seems to revert back to Audrina/Spencer/Heidi days when he pretty much blows Heidi off throughout the entire conversation. Not even the promise of Don Antonio’s (where he took both girls on a date in Season 2) can cheer McGrumpyPants up. So Heidi moves on to breakfast with Jenn Bunny where we are met with an even MORE awkward conversation. Not only am I pretty sure these two cannot be friends without alcohol, Brody or Lauren being involved, but I am also pretty sure they both might have eating disorders as all I saw was a lot of pushing around of food and not enough eating of it.

Remember last week when Spencer said that Lauren was a selfish little girl that wanted Heidi all to herself? And then he did that AWFUL impression of her? Well, clearly he doesn’t have a mirror because if he did he would realize that this jealously and animosity that he is dishing out towards Brody is a THOUSAND times worse than how he thinks Lauren was. While “working”, Spencer is interrupted with a phone call from Brody, who would like to know why he has been ignoring him. (Oh…in case you aren’t a huge fan of the show, let the record show…Spencer and Brody, although Spencer is making it seem this way…are NOT dating.) Spencer says he has “nothing to say to him.” And then goes on to say a whole lot…mostly about how he doesn’t like that Brody is "rolling" with Enemy #1, and how Brody has no loyalty towards him and blah, blah, blah. He ends the conversation by strategically hanging up his iPhone before letting Brody give him a logical response, because logic has no place in Spencer Pratt’s world.

Audrina, who shocked me last week by deciding to be done with Justin-Bobby-Sometimes Justin-Sometimes Bobby after he deserted her ONCE AGAIN (because leaving her in Vegas wasn’t deal breaking enough) decided to shock me this week by going out to dinner with him. Hmmm…she really knows how to make a point, huh? JB-SJ-SB tells Audrina “when you have a good thing it doesn’t make sense to go and ruin it with labels.” I think he is right, I mean like when soldiers are in Iraq fighting for democracy…why go and ruin it and label it a war? Or like when there is a huge storm heading into America, why ruin the excitement and label it as a category 5 storm?! I think we all learned a valuable lesson here…Labels are for losers who don’t like to be informed as to what type of situation they are in.

At the end of the day all anyone needs to get themselves back on track after a break-up or a bad dinner date is the Roosevelt Hotel Pool…where Lauren goes EVERY Sunday. (LA-ers…start your stalking now!) So the gang (Lo, LC, Aud, Frankie and Brody) all meet at the famed summer hot spot and discuss the week. Audrina says she is taking a little break from JB-SJ-SB for now which we can all be sure means they will be dating again next week. Brody talks about how upset he is that Spencer broke up with him but that he was happy that Frankie was there to pick up the pieces. And finally we find out that Brody and Lauren had a sleepover the night they went to his condo and we think there might be more than meets the eye to this whole situation, but Lauren, emotions cloaked behind her sunglasses, is giving up nothing.


Stayed tuned when next week Lauren will be $15,000 richer for doing nothing, and I will be no richer for busting my butt!