Uh.....What The Hell Happened to Carson?!

Lets make a list of possible scenarios :

1) He has engaged in deviant behavior and is blowing coke like no other.
2) He found out it was in to be scarily thin and started pulling the trigger immediately.
3) He passed out with Pete Doherty and got shot up with Heroin...
4) Oh sorry I take that one back...Pete Doherty did NOT shoot him up with heroin, instead he took massive amounts of blood from him and used it to paint his apartment.
5) The Olsen Twins kidnapped him and put him on a strict coffee and cigarette diet.
6) Nicole Ritchie sucked all the fat out of Carson's body and injected it into hers so she could stop appearing under "When is Thin Too Thin?" headlines.
7) He has started a hunger strike to get Star Jones back on The View.
8) He has been working out hard core so that Jake, Lance and Matthew will invite him to bike ride.
9) He mistook Anna Nicole's diet pills for his vitamin C.
10) He has been rapidly losing weight over stress incurred by Nick and Jessica's divorce.