Someone Needs to Teach Milo the Meaning of Inconspicuous!

The cast of the hit NBC show Heroes are on a worldwide tout and seem to now be in Germany! In other news Stephen Colletti's heart breaks a little each time Milo violates his girlfriend Hayden with his superhero stare!

Let’s talk about….

Candybar, candybar, candybar….why are you so sweet? Is it because you are made of sugar? Or is it simply because of the sweet nothings that come out of your mouth? Hmmm…it can’t be the sweet nothings because you just called Parisa “interesting” instead of pretty…and now she is hurt…and now I'm sure you are wondering why she is so uptight…um, possibly cause you are a jerk??

KellyAnne and Trisha sit down to talk about how she is “just not that into Dunbar”. (You like that one right? I am throwing Dunbar’s words right back at him! Take that Mississippi boy!) The wonderful editors of this show give us tons of footage to prove to us how “not into” candybar she is by showing us a montage of scenes in which KellyAnne is throwing herself at him. (Mostly we keep seeing KellyAnne and candybar in the hot tub over and over again, but we get the point) All the while we hear KellyAnne’s voice over asking, “Why would he think I like him?” or “He obviously read too much into my flirting and thinks I like him…which I so don’t”. Again I have to implore…who exactly is KellyAnne trying to convince? Herself? Candybar? Candybar’s girlfriend? (Side note: it looks like all the girls no longer want a piece so is it appropriate to still call Dunbar Candybar? No I can't. From here on out he is Dunbar again)

Parisa talks to KellyAnne about KellyAnne getting in between Parisa and Dunbar’s relationship. Apparently Parisa just doesn’t seem to get the hint and still seems to think somehow that the two of them have a relationship, that’s not psycho though…no, no not at all! KellyAnne seems to be over Parisa’s skirting of the issue and she shouts in too loud of a voice (which I am beginning to realize she uses often) “Do you like Dunbar or not?” Parisa follows suit with KellyAnne’s recent rant and lies to herself and America and says no. Then KellyAnne goes off on some strange tangent about how she doesn’t like him and she has no idea how he got that idea (jumping in bed with him and basically mauling him in the hot tub seem to be two things that have deleted themselves from KellyAnne’s memory.) KellyAnne lets Parisa know that she is backing off, why? I am not sure considering Parisa ISN’T Dunbar’s girlfriend anywhere else but in her own mind, but apparently KellyAnne has visited that world before and understands Parisa.

Parisa somehow understands KellyAnne too, which leads me to believe that there might actually be soul mates in this house after all and it is these two nut jobs! Parisa said that she never understood why KellyAnne was so flirty, but after KellyAnne’s rant about how Dunbar has no idea who she is, or that she is just flirty, or that she was called a nickname in high school that I would rather not mention, but it’s a sort of tease that rhymes with rock peas, Parisa suddenly has this epiphany and seems to understand why KellyAnne is a flirt/tease. I wish she had filled in the rest of us because I still have no idea why KellyAnne is the way that she is.

KellyAnne decides to do her best to convince Dunbar that she doesn’t like him, but as evidenced by his “Spencer Pratt” face he clearly doesn’t believe her.

Dunbar then runs back inside to tell Isaac about how KellyAnne “doesn’t like him” and gives the best impression that he can of her telling him, but that it seems like she was winking at the same time. Dunbar…KellyAnne was more convincing in her CLEARLY untrue argument than you were with that little story you just told Isaac. Isaac gives no opinion and ponders how KellyAnne might teach him how to pimp even harder than he did last weekend!

KellyAnne is on to her next love of the moment and starts in on our southern boy Cohutta. I can only imagine what these two have in common, like being from the south, or like…oh wait, that’s about all I see. Cohutta is rational, calm, genuinely sweet, and so far he doesn’t seem to be insane…so I’m sticking with the south being their only connection. Meanwhile I am still trying to figure out what the hell Cohutta has said in the last five minutes because I seem to understand less and less of him as time goes on and I think that I have only understood a total of 5 words he has uttered thus far. I will try and work on that…orrrrrrr; we can send a petition to MTV to ask for subtitles each time he talks.

Dunbar turns back on the sweet nothings when he decides to attack Parisa by telling her that woman have no place singing the blues. There you go Dunbar, let those true colors show through! Soon he will admit that his “Mississippi flag” really IS a confederate flag. I now hate Dunbar more than ever. Oh wait, he apparently wants to kick it up a notch as he tries to physically restrain Parisa so that she will stay and be yelled at more about how woman aren’t supposed to sing the blues and various other things he can throw at her. Wow…it’s such a wonder to me how she DOESN’T want to stay and listen to that! Parisa where is your sense of adventure? Lighten up will ya? (I am pretty sure he also says, “Don’t ever walk away when I am trying to hold you!” But again, I’m going to have to say subtitles would be appropriate when, say someone, is going through roid rage??)

Parisa concludes that she is “a toilet bowl that Dunbar likes to shit in.” And this is the boy that you have told the world in any other situation would be your Prince Charming…I do NOT want to read Parisa’s fairy tales to my children, they sound pretty scary and grim.

Cohutta earns the name Co-HOT-ah again when he tells some local Aussie girls that he is “a mountain man baby” and proves this by letting America know that he not only wears a bear claw around his neck, but that he also killed that bear…with his bare hands I’m sure! Oh Co-HOT-ah I can see why KellyAnne is falling for you, I mean, killing a bear? I am almost smitten myself! Also…I think you might be getting some fan mail from Michael Vick sometime soon so don’t be surprised when you get mail from the state pen.

I LOVE how Dunbar starts throwing bitchfits EVERY time he realizes that KellyAnne, although not too convincing with her “I don’t like you’ argument, is VERY convincing when it comes to the “I’m over you” show. He throws a small bitchfit and tries to make joke out of it by bringing to everyone’s attention that Cohutta and KellyAnne have been in the confessional for about 20 minutes. I wonder if he is gearing up for his “all woman are whores” speech that I know is coming soon, I mean after the woman have no place in blues speech I’m just dying to know what else is in that head of his…then I hope that KellyAnne or Parisa rip that head much like a praying mantis does after mating with her man!

Dunbar throws his bitchfit into high gear when KellyAnne gets into bed with Cohutta. He yells, tells her to shut up, says she is a slut or something like that and altogether makes himself look like a jealous little girl. Calm yourself Dunbar, you are embarrassing your clan-mates!

What Percentage of Americans Think Amber is an Anti-Semite?

Did anyone else see her face lite up when Drew Carey said that Karl Rove was the new president? And I am SURE that Amber actually believes there ARE flying cars now, she is going to come out of the BB house and just look around in awe...than the tears will start flowing because Amber will realize Drew Carey lied to her and she should not have put in her alliance of three with her and God.

On a more important note though....HOW ON EARTH DID AMBER BEAT DANIELLE!? It's just unreal, I know Amber had no idea what half 0f what was being said meant. Although she did shock me when she proved to know what a pit bull was!

In Case You Missed it!

Those writers over at GREEK sure do like to reference The Hills and Laguna Beach! But not even the revelation that Laguna was "all fake" could pull Ashleigh out of her funk! Don't watch GREEK? Well you should, it's really funny for everyone from Greek Alums to Engineering majors! (Monday nights, 9:00 EST)

Let’s Talk About…

Awkward was the word of the day not only in California, but in Colorado as well! We start off right away with an awkward moment that also sheds some light on the “reality” aspect of this show. Heidi lets Spencer know that even though he has been planning a BBQ with Brody and Frankie for three months, (because a LOT of work goes into planning a BBQ…like buying food….and….wait, that’s about it, how did this take them 3 months to plan??) he will be going to Colorado to visit her family instead! Spencer tries to fight going by whining about missing out on his BBQ, but then I think the guilt starts to set in that he is having a “fake engagement” with Heidi and has yet to meet her parents so he agrees. Then we have an “Aha” moment when Spencer asks Heidi, “What do your parents know about this relationship?” (We can call this Awkward Moment #1) Translation: Have your parents seen the show and know that I am a total douche bag who isolated you from your friends? Alternate translation: Do they know we are “fake” engaged? Third translation: Do they know we are living together and sharing a bed?? You can almost see the sweat droplets begin to form on his HUGE forehead when he realizes all of his actions in the past year might actually have consequences in the form of PARENTS! Silly Spencer, neglectful partners are for LA kids!

Heidi answers that her parents know that they are living together, in fact she talks to her mom ever day and she knows everything. If this WERE true, how on earth does Spencer not know that? Even my friend Jen who DOESN’T live with me knows I talk to my mom everyday, how does he miss that? (He is probably too busy planning more surprises for Heidi…like that snake he wants to leave in her bed…)

We then move onto Awkward Moment #2 when Spencer tells Brody he will not be making it to the BBQ. Now, I am all for a good BBQ, but I have never in my life seen people so serious about one before, was this the social event of the year? Was People Magazine invited or something? Brody bitches Spencer out for spending so much time with Heidi…hmmmm, that sounding familiar where have I heard that before? “I can see what Lauren meant!” Ohhhhhhhh, that’s where I heard it, from Lauren when last season she said the reverse to Heidi, thanks Brody! Spencer just sort of looks shocked that his friend would even bring up her name, much less compare him to her. Looks like the disciples are revolting, not a good time to go to Colorado!

Let’s move over to Colorado now, before I get involved with the BBQ of the century. We can call the trip to Colorado Awkward Moment #3, 4, and 5. Everything seems great until Awkward Moment #3 when Heidi asks her dad what his opinion is of Spencer. (Did we not learn from Audrina last week that putting someone on the spot while asking their opinion about a jerk is NOT a good move?) Heidi’s dad CLEARLY isn’t too much of a fan (he must be watching the show) and he says that he seems nice and polite (read: fake!) But that if he really makes her happy that’s all that matters, although he says this with MUCH trepidation like he doesn’t think his daughter is happy at all and instead resembles a shell of what she once was. Then Heidi probably says the meanest thing of all when she tells her father that she “always wanted to find a guy like her daddy.” Um…I don’t know your dad that well, but I can probably say with confidence that your dad is not an ass!

Awkward Moment #4 comes when Heidi tries to have a similar conversation with her mother, but her mother turns it on her relationship with Lauren and demands to know what happened. She thinks there has to be more to the story than just the Spencer thing, but Heidi claims there is not. Hmmm…looks like mom is on Team Lauren like the rest of the world! Heidi’s mom then asks a wise question, what happens if she and Spencer do not work out? Who will be her friend then? Great question, seeing as their engagement is a total sham!! Heidi gives some lame answer about how she has his friends and his friends girlfriends, and I have to say this is the first time I actually believe that she and Spencer are in an actual relationship…an abusive one, but a relationship never the less. (Or a relationshit?)

Awkward Moment #5 comes when Spencer and Heidi’s dad have the “talk”, although it’s a little late seeing as they are already “Engaged”. Heidi’s dad starts in on Spencer about his feelings for his daughter, blah, blah, blah. The interesting part is when he starts in on Spencer and in not so many words seems to place blame on him for Heidi loosing all of her friends! (So he DOES watch the show!!) He asks the same question of Spencer that Heidi’s mom asked and wonders what will happen if Spencer isn’t in her life anymore? What then, who will she have? “She only has you”. Translation: If you break up with her and she has no friends and cries…I WILL kill you! Aaaand Spencer…is left speechless! Which is a hard feat so he must be freaking out right now realizing that he either has to get Heidi some new friends or he is stuck with her for life…something he was never planning on?

Okay…back in LA at the BBQ of the millennium. Just because people are in beach ware playing football and enjoying burgers don’t think for one second that they can avoid the awkward moment here! They happen pretty quickly so try and keep up!

Awkward Moment #6: Lauren breaks Brody’s finger…too bad no one believes him. He goes to the hospital regardless.

Awkward Moment #7: Brody comes back from the hospital in a full arm cast…he is met with laughter from the entire party…poor Brody. :(

Awkward Moment #8: Brody starts telling Lauren that he upset her by laughing at him when he returned in a full arm cast…Lauren responds by laughing, and then realizes Brody isn’t kidding and he really is upset…awwwwwwkward!! Lauren kisses Brody’s cast and everything with the world is at ease once again!

MASSIVE Awkward #9: (saving the best for last) Justin-Bobby-sometimes Justin-sometimes Bobby spends the entire night flirting and doing what looks to be like getting another girl’s number and then leaves Audrina’s helmet on the couch. (Ouch deserted again!!) Audrina cries/sort of laughs once Lauren breaks the news to her “surprise style” by hiding the helmet behind her back and presenting it to her and then cries harder….mega awkward.

So…the word of the day was what boys and girls? AWWWWWWKWARD!!! Way to take a page from Big Brother MTV!

Sorry Mike!

I haven't had one of these in a long time! (it seems people just don't really care about JoJo as much as Mike does!) However, it seems as though once again JoJo is off the market...Maybe one day Mike....one day! It looks as though Qwanell, from Making the Band 4 wound up with more than just a record deal!

Britney, Britney, Britney....

Britney was seen leaving the recording studio with what looks like to be possibly a demo CD. She should be spending less time in the studio trying to resuscitate her career and more time on the impending "child abuse" case filed against her

Britney's Kids Behind the Wheel Again?

No, not a real car this time! Britney's parents went to KFab's house to pick up the little ones and have some grandparent time. I think it's safe to say these two little ones did NOT get a DUI while out on the road!

Owen Wilson Hospitalized After Alleged Suicide Attempt

According to the National Enquirer and Star Magazine (two not very reliable sources) Owen Wilson was rushed to the hospital around noon on Sunday after a family member found him and called for help. He supposedly slashed superficially both of his wrists and had taken an overdose of pills. I hope that this isn't true, we do not need to lose another comedian to the way of suicide :(

Click HERE for the full story.

Source: Fox Morning Show

Hollywood Hits The Slammer!

Lindsay Lohan plead "no contest" yesterday to 7 misdemeanor charges for her two separate arrests. She wasn't charged with a felony for possession of cocaine as we all assumed she wouldn't be, however he sentence was handed down as follows:



1 day in jail (to be served before January 18)(Lindsay was originally sentenced to 4 days, but her lawyer had this reduced to 2 days, and given the one day of credit she received for the jail time she served when she was arrested she will now only serve one day in prison)

10 days of community service

18 months of alcohol education program

She must attend a drug program (not that this has helped her thus far)

stay at Cirque Lodge for rehab for an unspecified amount of time

and finally

3 years of probation



Not to be outdone...Nicole Richie also entered Jail yesterday to serve out her 4 day sentence. With all of the attention on Lindsay Nicole was "free" to go to jail in peace. Much like Linds, Nicole is already out of jail because she was credited one day for her 6 hours when she was arrested and due to overcrowding they kicked her to the curb.



Just so we are straight...neither of these woman were given special treatment (....um...1 day in jail and neither of them were charge with drug possession? I'd say that treatment is pretty special!)

Let’s Talk About…

Real World was…well about as boring as real life last night! But at least my girl Parisa did not let me down when it came to “bringing the drama”! Let us call tonight’s episode “Just Friends”. There was a lot of that term being thrown around, sometimes in the event of it being an all out lie, other times in the way people keep saying things over and over again to prove to themselves that they believe it, and other times in an attempt to fool both viewers and certain significant others…so it is only fitting for the title to be as such!

On to the sh*t show!! Last week we left off with Isaac telling Trisha quite comically that he wasn’t sure if she was good person after she tried to lure him over to her side in the Parisa vs. Trisha fight of last week. My opinion…well Trisha you kind of walked into that one, you cheated on your boyfriend and then proceeded to hog the computer all day long while waiting for an email back from said boyfriend, and then you waged an all out war with Parisa after she asked to use the computer! Yes…you are a very good person Trisha! I need time to think on that one too!

Although admittedly I was on Trisha’s side because I know what it is like to wait for life changing emails, I mean, hey I do it all day long at work, I was not on her side when she flipped out on Parisa and once again told her to buy a personality. (On an unrelated note, where can one find a personality store? Because, if I have significant proof of their existence I too will begin to suggest people go out shopping for a new persona!)

Meanwhile the rest of the guys try out a little costume test to pick up girls in Australia while wearing overalls and a jogging suit…and guess what?! IT WORKS! Isaac finds an Irish Lassie to go out with that night and proceeds to try and check off “Pimp Harder” on his checklist. I can only assume this checklist is entitled “Things I Want to Accomplish Before I am 30.” And I am sure; “dress up like Kevin Federline and spit mad game” is one of the entries on this awesome list!


In the morning we see him go right to the fridge and check off “Pimp Harder”, I think it is safe to assume he has sealed the deal. We then see the softer side of Isaac when he tells the viewers, “Will I see her again, who knows, but I hope so.” Somehow I believe him!

Parisa, this week, however is the star of my story! Dunbar, who from now on will be referred to as “Candybar” since all the girls seem to want to break a piece off of him for themselves (Thanks Lex!) decided that since he was uncomfortable with Parisa’s feelings towards him he would just “act really mean” towards her to turn her off. (Where would he get the idea that she likes him? Saying to the camera that in another world you and Dunbar would be a fairy tale is NOT grounds for being obsessive…oh wait….it is!) Silly boy, don’t you know anything? Girls are attracted to the bad boy so the meaner you are to Parisa the better your chances are of her liking you. (He must get his advice from Austin on Newport Beach) So we have a number of scenes showing Candybar being an all out jerk to Parisa and being really nice to the rest of the girls, he tells her numerous times to lighten up, but I am not sure if Parisa gets what that means as she seems to get darker and darker. Eventually when they are out Parisa starts in on Candybar about his attitude towards her and then threatens to “write him a letter”. In the letter she basically whines about everything we have heard her say in the confessional. I have taken liberties to translate Parisa’s letter for everyone now:

Hey Candybar,
I really really like you, but I hate when you flirt with KellyAnne. Every time you give her attention it reminds me that I am not your type and that you do not like me. It also reminds me that I hate KellyAnne, but instead of telling you that I hate her, I will say that I think it is “inappropriate” for you to act the way you do around her and for her to act the way she does around you knowing you have a girlfriend at home. This way, I seem much more mature than KellyAnne, and hope to god that you are more attracted to mature, smart women, instead of pretty, cute, slutty girls! I am now going to allude to the fact that I am just misunderstood, and under my tough exterior there is a girl that just wants a friend - that friend happens to be Dunbar. You know a friend who eventually becomes your girlfriend, and then eventually becomes your wife, and then the mother of your children, etc. I would like to end this letter on a slutty note because in my heart I know that’s what you are REALLY attracted to despite my efforts to turn you into someone you aren’t and let you know I would like to take a shower with you…of course, just for hygienic purposes, because lets be honest, I can't pull off the slut-factor.

As soon as Candybar finishes the letter KellyAnne crawls into bed with him to discuss Parisa’s “feelings” towards him. Her note seems to have really worked because by the end of the episode we hear Candybar tell KellyAnne that if he didn’t have a girlfriend they would be doing the horizontal mambo for the night vision cameras! And, we aren’t quite sure whether or not they are making out in the end, but if I were a betting lady…which I am NOT unless it is video black jack which I KICK butt in… I would put my money on “Yes, yes, ooooh yes!” Don’t worry though; KellyAnne assures us that she and Dunbar are… “JUST FRIENDS” and she hopes that his girlfriend doesn’t get the wrong idea about her hopping into bed with her man.

And to end on a high note Isaac tells the world that KellyAnne looks like one of those girls that will “sleep with you one night and stab you the next”…well said Isaac! She does have semi-crazy eyes!

Conversations Between a Mom and Daughter

Katie: Suri...I need to talk to you about something serious. You know that Mommy and Daddy don't share a room right? Well I told the press it was because he snores...

Suri: Hahahahahahah

Katie: Hahahahahaha

Suri: Soon enough people will realize this marriage is a sham mom, but you know what I say to that? Oh well!

Katie: That's right! This marriage IS a sham, and do you know where daddy will send you if you tell anyone about it? That's right...right there, to Evil Lord Zenon!

Katie: Well at least my child believes in this crap!

P.S. She is so freaking adorable!!

Britney's New Song!!

Ryan Seacrest is at it again, leaking songs onto his radio show! This time it's Britney Spears' new song...but not the one with Justin and Timbaland...

Click here to hear the song.

Can't listen to it at work or school? Here are the lyrics for you reading pleasure (or reading displeasure)

Everyday, I’m in a daze
Looking for that someone
And everyday, I sit and kneel and pray
Oh, sweet love, can I get some?
So why do you desert me, baby boy?
I need your love right now!
And if you desert me, baby boy
Don’t you leave me in your crowd

Talking
Hey baby, what time you gonna get home?
Oh, really?
[Sigh]
Alright, well, I’ll see you later, then
Oh, wait
Would you mind getting some…
Yeah, when you come home
Yeah, that’s it
I love you too
Bye

[Singing again]
Some day when you see my face
You will think that you have won
And some day when it’s all away
Our love just begun
So why did you desert me, baby boy?
I thought that you, you were the one
So if you preferred the other one
She won’t bring you the sun(son)

hmmm...who on earth could she be singing about?

Let’s Talk About….

Okay…so today the gossip world is moving a bit slow and really nothing is entertaining me enough to take time out of my busy work day (You like that one Randy??) to post. So instead I thought it would be a good idea to talk about Newport Beach: The Real OC, MTV’s newest town featured in The Real OC series.

So we start off with Chrissy’s dad asking her if she enjoyed her time in Palm Beach. She said she had SOOOOO much fun, until her dad decided to c$%kblock her and ruin her “bonding time” with Clay. (Who by the way…thinks he is the “man” and a true “playa”, but really, he has no idea!) Her dad agreed that he might have embarrassed her and said that he felt bad; he then proceeds to ask her if Clay kissed her. (Um…wasn’t that what he was trying to prevent when he called her on her cell phone and broke up their fun in the hallway?) Chrissy replies with, “No dad, you kind of killed the mood!” Funny…’cause I thought most high school boys just LOVED it when dad breaks up the party, apparently not!

We then move on to Allie, and Fallie (that’s fake Allie, since Samantha wants to so desperately be Allie.) They are discussing their “Pretty in Pink” party which...ironically...they had NO idea was the title of a movie! (Does this mean something in pop culture finally dates me?) They make up their guest list and the make sure to NOT include Taylor since Allie would like Chase all to herself. So far, we have heard a whole lot about Taylor and have yet to see her, Allie and Fallie would like to keep it that way!

MTV, however, would not and in the next scene we meet Taylor! YAY!!!!!!!! Chase tells Taylor she can’t come to the party in not so many words. However Taylor sees through his “It’s kind of a senior thing” line and says, “So Allie doesn’t want me there? Be careful because this is all sort of sketchy.” She then asks Chase to be good…and move on to Chase…ASKING ALLIE OUT ON A DATE! Apparently when Taylor asked Chase to be good at the party Chase dove right into that loophole and planned a date with Allie BEFORE the party…well played little playa!

Allie…surprisingly wanted to have nothing to do with this, and told Chase she would be more comfortable if they weren’t alone together. We are privy to a short background of the Chase/Taylor/Allie drama when we learn that Chase dumped Taylor for Allie and then Allie blew him off and got a different boyfriend…Ouch!

Next we get to see how smart Allie and Fallie really are! They aren’t just blonde beauties people they have brains too! (Well…beauty is a strong word…that I wouldn’t use for them) The two go on and on about the existence of the word “funner” Allie corrects Fallie numerous times telling her the correct term is “more fun”, but Fallie stays strong in her debate that “funner” is in fact a word and that she thinks the added it into the dictionary! (The Idiot Dictionary?) Then they talk about how Bootylicious is a word, and that its now in the dictionary and that no one uses it anymore, then Allie tries to make fun of Fallie telling her that they took Gullible out of the dictionary (although she might think that this is in fact true) however, once again the irony is lost on Fallie as she deadpans and continues to talk about the validity of the word Bootylicious. At this point my brain implodes and I wonder why I have sat through this discussion for so long without flipping over to Bravo to see Top Chef.

“Pretty in Pink” Party time!!! All the girls are dressed in pink dresses (although I think that Allie and Chrissy are wearing red and I am worried they might have a rare strain of female colorblindness, either that or I need a new TV) Then we have the obligatory awkward moment between Chrissy and Clay...they dance…her phone rings…she runs out…It’s Daaaaaaady! He must be telling her to come home and she complains that it is still early (basically she is pissed since Clay just got the balls to look at her and now the other man in her life wants her home) She stays at the party, but the damage is done. Clay is “so over” her father c%^kblocking him.” Grant, the mayor (I wonder if he has real political aspirations) tells him to dance with another girl to make her jealous and Clay retorts with, “I like the way you are thinking bra!!” Um…good one idiot, all that does is piss off Chrissy!

Chrissy sits in the corner the rest of the night next to what I think is the bathroom, pouts, and wishes she listened to daddy and came home. (Chrissy you have to live by the way of George Costanza…ALWAYS leave on a high note!)

Fast forward to the next morning when Clay’s plan has backfired TERRIBLY as Chrissy’s very smart friend Sasha tells her to take a break from Clay and his weirdness for a while! NOT well played little playa…you lost the girl!

Oh yeah....In an effort to keep his promise to Taylor, Chase makes out with Fallie...G-ROSS! (He must really want Allie if he has to make out with the tofu version of her!)

Next week…maybe Clay will stop listening to the mayor seeing as no one really voted for his ass, and maybe, just maybe he can get the girl!

EDIT: Clay did not get the advice from Grant...instead it was Austin...sorry all these boys look the same to me, it hard to tell them apart when all their collars are popped!

Slamming Them Back at Sleep Away Camp??

Could Lindsay be off the wagon before even getting herself fully back onto the wagon!? Seems like some Utah residents are either really pissed that they didn't get an autograph from Lindsay, or they are busting her in the act! A listener of Utah's 97.1 FM’s “The Morning Zoo” called in and said that they saw Lindsay Lohan buying Miller Lite from the Maverik Country Store last night...

Hmmm...should we be happy she is at least moving to some softer drinks, or should we be horrified that she seems to be once again taking advantage of her "day trips" out of rehab... I am glad that threats of jail time have made this girl take rehab seriously. ARE THESE PEOPLE NOT WATCHING HER!?

Remember...this is all an allegation, no sources have confirmed this story to be true...but it's juicy nevertheless!

p.s. Lindsay and I are wearing the same sweatshirt today!

Source

What do you think Britney Spears was about to hit when she made this face?

1. Her Ex-Husband Kevin Federline? In the heat of the moment after reading that Kevin will be staring in one of her favorite shows "One Tree Hill" Britney jumps in the car to confront him on getting a job before her! (how dare he!) Seconds before she mows him down with her black Mercedes paparazzi caught her with nothing more than a murderous look on her face.






2. A deer? After moving to the country to escape all of the harsh news about her parenting skills, Britney has an encounter with an even more deadly animal than the paparazzi. After hitting and fatally wounding a domesticated deer that belonged to her neighbor Billy-Bob (not related to Justin-Bobby) she joined Michael Vick in his jail sentence for animal cruelty.






3. Her Child? In an effort to save some of the millions that she made, Britney opted not to go for the optional rear view camera on her Mercedes and accidentally backs into one of her children while leaving her house to go to a custody trial. She's a good mom y'all...she was just trying to save money so that she could send her kids to college so they can be edumicated unlike herself!

or did she hit.....

4. Rock bottom? After making the fatal mistake of not signing on to do a new single with one time flame superstar Justin Timberlake and Musical Genius Timbaland Britney goes out for a drive with her cousin/assistant/Paris Hilton's new besty Ali to burn off some steam. As she listens to Ali go on and on about her music career she is interested in starting Britney finally wakes up and realizes what her life has become. At that moment, she makes a Claire-esque (Heroes) decision and runs her car into a wall. Like Clair, Britney will survive this accident...unfortunately her career will not as it had died some time ago!

Jim Can You Please Inform Justin Timberlake and Timbaland That They Are Being Shunned?

According to Page Six Britney's Label Jive records was completely stunned when they heard that Britney Spears did not show up for a recording session with Justin Timberlake and Timbaland. Justin wrote the song and Britney and her old beau were all set to record the song which very well could have been her big "comeback" and could have branched off into other endeavors such as the opening act on MTV's Video Music Awards in which she was rumored to be preforming in.

A music insider told page six, "Timbaland set aside a week out of his crazy schedule to do this - and then, just before she was supposed to fly out, Britney abruptly canceled the session and refused to do the song."

Obviously Jive is very worried about the former pop stars behavior and her rash decision to not go forward with the hit. What is she thinking? I mean, Justin and Timbaland...when is that NOT going to be a hit? This could have been the chance for America's sweetheart to make her way back into all of our hearts!

Source

And in case you don't know where my title comes from...only the funniest part of a "The Office" episode!

Just Her Luck!

Files may be charged against Lindsay Lohan today, however, the DA in connection with her case may not file charges against her at all regarding her two DUIs. One charge we most definitely will not see show up? Cocaine possession. What else might not show up in court? Lindsay herself! If Linds is not charged with a felony (cocaine possession and possession of cocaine in a correctional faciltity) then she is not required to show up for court. Seeing as Lindsay is living it up in sleepaway camp, whoops, again I made that mistake...rehab she probably won’t show up to court and will get charged with two misdemeanors for her two DUI’s. What’s that mean? Linds will have to serve a minimum of 4 days in jail.

Now…I know that what Lindsay did was WAY worse than what Paris Hilton did and Paris was in jail for much longer than 4 days, so why the ease on Lindsay’s sentence? Don’t we want her to LEARN a lesson and not take the easy road? Well, I say as long as she is sober while driving down that easy road, lets let her take that route, plus I doubt the friends Lindsay will make in jail will be a great influence on her staying on the straight and narrow.

Source

UH OH MTV Mixup!!!

Audrina was on MTV last night with Lauren for The Hills aftershow...where she wore this:






Nicole Scherzinger was also on MTV yesterday when she appeared on TRL...where she wore this:





The MTV stylists for these two shows must not talk! MAJOR fashion mistake, I mean everyone eventually gets caught wearing the same thing bringing us a "who wore it best" war, but to be caught wearing the same thing, on the same day, on the same channel? That's just embarrassing!(maybe THAT'S why Lauren looked so upset when leaving the taping of the aftershow!!)