Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Let’s Talk About…

Awkward was the word of the day not only in California, but in Colorado as well! We start off right away with an awkward moment that also sheds some light on the “reality” aspect of this show. Heidi lets Spencer know that even though he has been planning a BBQ with Brody and Frankie for three months, (because a LOT of work goes into planning a BBQ…like buying food….and….wait, that’s about it, how did this take them 3 months to plan??) he will be going to Colorado to visit her family instead! Spencer tries to fight going by whining about missing out on his BBQ, but then I think the guilt starts to set in that he is having a “fake engagement” with Heidi and has yet to meet her parents so he agrees. Then we have an “Aha” moment when Spencer asks Heidi, “What do your parents know about this relationship?” (We can call this Awkward Moment #1) Translation: Have your parents seen the show and know that I am a total douche bag who isolated you from your friends? Alternate translation: Do they know we are “fake” engaged? Third translation: Do they know we are living together and sharing a bed?? You can almost see the sweat droplets begin to form on his HUGE forehead when he realizes all of his actions in the past year might actually have consequences in the form of PARENTS! Silly Spencer, neglectful partners are for LA kids!

Heidi answers that her parents know that they are living together, in fact she talks to her mom ever day and she knows everything. If this WERE true, how on earth does Spencer not know that? Even my friend Jen who DOESN’T live with me knows I talk to my mom everyday, how does he miss that? (He is probably too busy planning more surprises for Heidi…like that snake he wants to leave in her bed…)

We then move onto Awkward Moment #2 when Spencer tells Brody he will not be making it to the BBQ. Now, I am all for a good BBQ, but I have never in my life seen people so serious about one before, was this the social event of the year? Was People Magazine invited or something? Brody bitches Spencer out for spending so much time with Heidi…hmmmm, that sounding familiar where have I heard that before? “I can see what Lauren meant!” Ohhhhhhhh, that’s where I heard it, from Lauren when last season she said the reverse to Heidi, thanks Brody! Spencer just sort of looks shocked that his friend would even bring up her name, much less compare him to her. Looks like the disciples are revolting, not a good time to go to Colorado!

Let’s move over to Colorado now, before I get involved with the BBQ of the century. We can call the trip to Colorado Awkward Moment #3, 4, and 5. Everything seems great until Awkward Moment #3 when Heidi asks her dad what his opinion is of Spencer. (Did we not learn from Audrina last week that putting someone on the spot while asking their opinion about a jerk is NOT a good move?) Heidi’s dad CLEARLY isn’t too much of a fan (he must be watching the show) and he says that he seems nice and polite (read: fake!) But that if he really makes her happy that’s all that matters, although he says this with MUCH trepidation like he doesn’t think his daughter is happy at all and instead resembles a shell of what she once was. Then Heidi probably says the meanest thing of all when she tells her father that she “always wanted to find a guy like her daddy.” Um…I don’t know your dad that well, but I can probably say with confidence that your dad is not an ass!

Awkward Moment #4 comes when Heidi tries to have a similar conversation with her mother, but her mother turns it on her relationship with Lauren and demands to know what happened. She thinks there has to be more to the story than just the Spencer thing, but Heidi claims there is not. Hmmm…looks like mom is on Team Lauren like the rest of the world! Heidi’s mom then asks a wise question, what happens if she and Spencer do not work out? Who will be her friend then? Great question, seeing as their engagement is a total sham!! Heidi gives some lame answer about how she has his friends and his friends girlfriends, and I have to say this is the first time I actually believe that she and Spencer are in an actual relationship…an abusive one, but a relationship never the less. (Or a relationshit?)

Awkward Moment #5 comes when Spencer and Heidi’s dad have the “talk”, although it’s a little late seeing as they are already “Engaged”. Heidi’s dad starts in on Spencer about his feelings for his daughter, blah, blah, blah. The interesting part is when he starts in on Spencer and in not so many words seems to place blame on him for Heidi loosing all of her friends! (So he DOES watch the show!!) He asks the same question of Spencer that Heidi’s mom asked and wonders what will happen if Spencer isn’t in her life anymore? What then, who will she have? “She only has you”. Translation: If you break up with her and she has no friends and cries…I WILL kill you! Aaaand Spencer…is left speechless! Which is a hard feat so he must be freaking out right now realizing that he either has to get Heidi some new friends or he is stuck with her for life…something he was never planning on?

Okay…back in LA at the BBQ of the millennium. Just because people are in beach ware playing football and enjoying burgers don’t think for one second that they can avoid the awkward moment here! They happen pretty quickly so try and keep up!

Awkward Moment #6: Lauren breaks Brody’s finger…too bad no one believes him. He goes to the hospital regardless.

Awkward Moment #7: Brody comes back from the hospital in a full arm cast…he is met with laughter from the entire party…poor Brody. :(

Awkward Moment #8: Brody starts telling Lauren that he upset her by laughing at him when he returned in a full arm cast…Lauren responds by laughing, and then realizes Brody isn’t kidding and he really is upset…awwwwwwkward!! Lauren kisses Brody’s cast and everything with the world is at ease once again!

MASSIVE Awkward #9: (saving the best for last) Justin-Bobby-sometimes Justin-sometimes Bobby spends the entire night flirting and doing what looks to be like getting another girl’s number and then leaves Audrina’s helmet on the couch. (Ouch deserted again!!) Audrina cries/sort of laughs once Lauren breaks the news to her “surprise style” by hiding the helmet behind her back and presenting it to her and then cries harder….mega awkward.

So…the word of the day was what boys and girls? AWWWWWWKWARD!!! Way to take a page from Big Brother MTV!

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