Let’s Talk About…

Real World was…well about as boring as real life last night! But at least my girl Parisa did not let me down when it came to “bringing the drama”! Let us call tonight’s episode “Just Friends”. There was a lot of that term being thrown around, sometimes in the event of it being an all out lie, other times in the way people keep saying things over and over again to prove to themselves that they believe it, and other times in an attempt to fool both viewers and certain significant others…so it is only fitting for the title to be as such!

On to the sh*t show!! Last week we left off with Isaac telling Trisha quite comically that he wasn’t sure if she was good person after she tried to lure him over to her side in the Parisa vs. Trisha fight of last week. My opinion…well Trisha you kind of walked into that one, you cheated on your boyfriend and then proceeded to hog the computer all day long while waiting for an email back from said boyfriend, and then you waged an all out war with Parisa after she asked to use the computer! Yes…you are a very good person Trisha! I need time to think on that one too!

Although admittedly I was on Trisha’s side because I know what it is like to wait for life changing emails, I mean, hey I do it all day long at work, I was not on her side when she flipped out on Parisa and once again told her to buy a personality. (On an unrelated note, where can one find a personality store? Because, if I have significant proof of their existence I too will begin to suggest people go out shopping for a new persona!)

Meanwhile the rest of the guys try out a little costume test to pick up girls in Australia while wearing overalls and a jogging suit…and guess what?! IT WORKS! Isaac finds an Irish Lassie to go out with that night and proceeds to try and check off “Pimp Harder” on his checklist. I can only assume this checklist is entitled “Things I Want to Accomplish Before I am 30.” And I am sure; “dress up like Kevin Federline and spit mad game” is one of the entries on this awesome list!


In the morning we see him go right to the fridge and check off “Pimp Harder”, I think it is safe to assume he has sealed the deal. We then see the softer side of Isaac when he tells the viewers, “Will I see her again, who knows, but I hope so.” Somehow I believe him!

Parisa, this week, however is the star of my story! Dunbar, who from now on will be referred to as “Candybar” since all the girls seem to want to break a piece off of him for themselves (Thanks Lex!) decided that since he was uncomfortable with Parisa’s feelings towards him he would just “act really mean” towards her to turn her off. (Where would he get the idea that she likes him? Saying to the camera that in another world you and Dunbar would be a fairy tale is NOT grounds for being obsessive…oh wait….it is!) Silly boy, don’t you know anything? Girls are attracted to the bad boy so the meaner you are to Parisa the better your chances are of her liking you. (He must get his advice from Austin on Newport Beach) So we have a number of scenes showing Candybar being an all out jerk to Parisa and being really nice to the rest of the girls, he tells her numerous times to lighten up, but I am not sure if Parisa gets what that means as she seems to get darker and darker. Eventually when they are out Parisa starts in on Candybar about his attitude towards her and then threatens to “write him a letter”. In the letter she basically whines about everything we have heard her say in the confessional. I have taken liberties to translate Parisa’s letter for everyone now:

Hey Candybar,
I really really like you, but I hate when you flirt with KellyAnne. Every time you give her attention it reminds me that I am not your type and that you do not like me. It also reminds me that I hate KellyAnne, but instead of telling you that I hate her, I will say that I think it is “inappropriate” for you to act the way you do around her and for her to act the way she does around you knowing you have a girlfriend at home. This way, I seem much more mature than KellyAnne, and hope to god that you are more attracted to mature, smart women, instead of pretty, cute, slutty girls! I am now going to allude to the fact that I am just misunderstood, and under my tough exterior there is a girl that just wants a friend - that friend happens to be Dunbar. You know a friend who eventually becomes your girlfriend, and then eventually becomes your wife, and then the mother of your children, etc. I would like to end this letter on a slutty note because in my heart I know that’s what you are REALLY attracted to despite my efforts to turn you into someone you aren’t and let you know I would like to take a shower with you…of course, just for hygienic purposes, because lets be honest, I can't pull off the slut-factor.

As soon as Candybar finishes the letter KellyAnne crawls into bed with him to discuss Parisa’s “feelings” towards him. Her note seems to have really worked because by the end of the episode we hear Candybar tell KellyAnne that if he didn’t have a girlfriend they would be doing the horizontal mambo for the night vision cameras! And, we aren’t quite sure whether or not they are making out in the end, but if I were a betting lady…which I am NOT unless it is video black jack which I KICK butt in… I would put my money on “Yes, yes, ooooh yes!” Don’t worry though; KellyAnne assures us that she and Dunbar are… “JUST FRIENDS” and she hopes that his girlfriend doesn’t get the wrong idea about her hopping into bed with her man.

And to end on a high note Isaac tells the world that KellyAnne looks like one of those girls that will “sleep with you one night and stab you the next”…well said Isaac! She does have semi-crazy eyes!