Oh Chris...You're So Hot!

So Becca and I haven't spoken in FOREVER...Mainly because I am a terrible friend and I haven't called her back in FOR-EV-ER! She asked me where I had been all this time...and if she had missed anything interesting in my life...so instead of giving her the everyday...no no nothing is new with me...just working and sleeping...you know same ol' same ol' I decided to spice up her life and tell her all about the day I met my future husband, Chris Evans!

(This is a fictional story...but if Chris reads it and wants to believe it is true...I'm not stopping him from fufilling this prophecy!)

So the day that you called me I was on my way back from work and I bumped into Chris Evans...like literally bumped into him. I was walking down the street putting a book in my bag and listening to my iPod which would explain why I didn't hear the flock of girls near me screaming "OH MY GOD CHRIS EVANS!" This was also the reason I didn't hear him say, "Whoa!" So I walked into him, dropped my book, fell to my knees and EVERYTHING else fell out of my bag. I bent down and picked up my things while I apologized profusely without even looking up into the face of the person I had just creamed! That's when I hear this amazingly sexy voice say, "Hey no problem, let me help you," and then a second voice, this one a lot deeper and raspier saying, "OK...everyone back away!" That’s when I looked up right into Chris Evans' beautiful blue eyes. When I first look at him all I could think was, "Oh my god I know him...shit where from? Syracuse, Home?? Shit shit shit" Then it hit me, I realized who it was and all I could utter was, "ughhee," in place of thanks!

He bent down picked up my book and asked, "Prep, huh? Good book?"

"Um...um....it's great actually...it's about a prep high school...It doesn't have much of a plot, but the idea is good...which is strange since it has no plot...God I'm so sorry I ran into you I am so scattered brained today and tired and I was trying to multitask…which apparently I cant do...and...I'm just so sorry...."

He laughed at me a lot...then said, "Hey…it's ok...I'm Chris...what’s your name?"

"Lee...no, no that's from my book...oh god...Beth...Beth...I'm Beth! I swear I'm not an idiot..." I continued to pick up the large amount of contents that was inside my bag and wondered to myself, "Why on earth did I need to carry so much stuff in my bag? This is just prolonging my utter embarrassment." I saw my Lactaid pills and tried to grab for them before he saw, but I was way too late.

"So...can't tolerate the Milk huh, no worries I can't either…hey since I knocked you over and all your stuff on the ground...can I make it up to you by grabbing some coffee...or a bite to eat or something, I feel terrible."

"Why do you feel terrible? I ran into you....it takes two to tango...well two to run into each other." I picked up my brush and reached for my sunglasses the same time as him, our hands touched and my face must have turned so red that it looked purple. He looked into my eyes and smiled, "exactly," he said,"it does take two to tango...and that's why I am apologizing too. So you wanna get out of the middle of the road…maybe go somewhere both of us aren't being gawked at? Or somewhere where we aren't having our picture taken?"

That's when I looked up and knew that this experience had gotten a lot more embarrassing as I saw the paparazzi that must have been following him for the last 3 blocks and realized that my embarrassing spill would probably be plastered all over the gossip mags..."wonderful, this just got a whole lot more public," I thought to myself. Well at least I could make a joke of it on my gossip blog! "Sure…please....I don't want to be more embarrassed than I already am....lets try to at least keep this incident contained to the United States, I know people in Europe! Ok...not really, but really I don't need London to know I am a klutz because then I will have nowhere to move to escape this embarrassment!" He Laughed...a hearty laugh, like he truly found me funny, and I thought I actually felt my face turning even redder!

A couple of weeks have passed since then...and that's where I have been...you know just hanging out at Chris' New York City apartment and building a meaningful relationship! It's awesome...he even solved my moving problem...I am just going to move into his old studio apartment that he no longer lives in....and get this...rent free too! Cause he loves me! :) Chris is awesome…I really recommend, next time you are walking down the street like a total moron and not looking where you are going…try and walk into a hot boy !!

Are You REALLY Going to Deny the Relationship Still? ARE YOU??

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are finally going to come clean...and...GASP...did you know they were dating? I am so glad that they are finally admitting to it on TV, because really I had no idea...oh and these pictures prove NOTHING! BradDad, Maddox and little Zahara seem to make the perfect ready made family!

P.S......BradDad with kids...that's so hot :)

I Gave You the Before Shooting Pictures...

Here are the After Shooting Pictures

Silly Rappers....Guns are for Hunters!

Is This Not the Funniest Picture?!!

I swear the Simpson family gives me the best pictures that NEVER need a caption! Yeeeaaaah! Where is your pimp cup Joe?!

Ahhhhhh....shiiiiit

Derek Jeter and A-Rod and Tino Martinez were at Sutton Place this Saturday....Funny the ONE night Leslie DOESN'T suggest we go there and all of her future husbands are there. Apparently Jeter was buying drinks for everyone at the bar...and we weren't there WHY?!!!

Kayne West's VMA Pre-Party...Pre-shooting

Here are some pictures from Kayne West and Stuff Magazine's VMA Pre-Party, you know BEFORE Suge Knight got shot. I am sure Hulk was MORE than excited that his daughter was there at the time!!

And again...without Paris...but with the ring...at the VMAs...just making me look MORE dumb!

Wanna See Something far WORSE Than Tara Reid in a Bathing Suit?!

Oh it exsists...and here it is!

She is certainly no Jessica Alba...

No Way Those Paris Rumors are True

Well I have to once again retract a statement about the breakup of Paris and Paris...Are we surprised?? I have stumbled across a picture of Paris Hilton partying it up sans Paris Latsis at the Cabana Club in Hollywood on August 26th. Surely seeing a picture of her out without him would confirm the "breakup" allegations....However, I'm pretty sure if they broke up that HUGE ring would no longer be on her hand!

I am going on record today saying this...I will continue to report the ups and downs of their relationship as stated in the media, but I will stay with my gut and not believe a word of it. I just hope the wedding is soon so that I can relieve some of this stress!!

Finally...I have found a source for my DRUNKEN Britney post....so in case no one believed me:

"Britney Will NOT Be Mother Of The YearSources say an 8-month pregnant
Britney Spears was drinking alcohol at Houston's Steakhouse in Santa Monica,
accompanied by her parents and her younger sister. In Source Weekly says that
while she looked at the menu, Britney ordered a glass of white wine and drank it
like water. When the waiter asked if she'd like anything else, Britney said,
"I'll have a strawberry daiquiri." The waiter apologized and said they did not
serve blended drinks, and after glancing at her pregnant belly, he said,
"Perhaps you'd like a virgin margarita." Britney said, "No, I want the real
thing. And make sure you use Patron." After she drank the margarita, she
reportedly ordered and finished another one, along with a nutritious meal of a
key lime pie, followed by an apple walnut cobbler with ice cream on top. Britney
has heard that it's okay for a woman to drink during her final tri-mester, but
doctors disagree. Britney's spokesman denies these allegations. "

Source:http://www.allthehitsq100.com/bertshow/index.asp?lt=S

AHHHHHH...Now she isn't wearing a freaking seat belt!!!!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH HER? I hope Britney's baby comes soon so that she stops endangering it...Wait who am I kidding she will continue to endanger him? She better get a nanny!

Loving Laguna

You know how we always hear about Alex's singing carrer on Laguna, but not once have we seen or heard her ACTUALLY sing? Well she has a MySpace page for her music! http://www.myspace.com/alexmmusic. I don't know if it's actually for real, but it might be...and hey its fun anyways! :)

Do u think this is what Paris used to make Nicole Richie and Kim Stewart do when they went out?

Seriously though...This is a picture from her new movie. I'm not such a huge fan of Paris as an actress, but any movie that shows how mean girls can be...And how catty they can be towards each, I'm in!

We Don't Necessarily NEED Men to Protect Us.....But sometimes it would be nice


Yet another reason Jennifer Aniston needs to either reconcile with Brad (which I don't even want anymore she is better off without him!) or get another new beau and quick. Ever since her break up with Brad it seems as though one creep after another has been bothering the grieving goddess.

First it was her X selling her stuff on eBay...cause that's not creepy right?

Then it was the daily panty raid on her trailer.

And now on top of that she has to deal with some super-creep breaking into her home...Oh Jen, maybe Vince can protect you...Or is it Owen....

If they paid stars by the inch...Tom Cruise would not only be short and totally out of his mind, but he would also be broke!

Boycotting Britney

Why on earth would I do this you ask....Well because I now think she is ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY, the DUMBEST person I have ever read about in my entire life...Ok enough with the insults and on with the reason why I have deleted all of her songs out of my iPod (Okay...Not all of them)

Brit and Hubby, who by the way got a REAL job and all without the help of his famous wife (good for him), were out to dinner (maybe to celebrate aforementioned job?). When the waiter came over he asked the very pregnant Britney if she would like something to drink. She had a glass of wine...Which is supposedly okay in your third trimester, but still a little controversial. One drink is okay, but when the waiter came over and asked if she would like anything else her response crossed the line. She said something along the lines of, I would like a margarita, a real one with the hard stuff please. No, no I'm not exaggerating, she ACTUALLY asked for a strong one.

Now supposedly it is okay to have A drink....But it is in NO WAY okay to go out and get smashed...Britney, you have a month less...And from the looks of it it might not even take THAT long so please...Can't you just wait until your child is born and then be the responsible parent we all expect you to be and get smashed in front of your child!!

I'm beginning to regret posting the story about Paris and Paris as I have come across some incriminating evidence....Here are pictures of them leaving Koi...LAST NIGHT! WTF? Are they together or not?!!!!!!!

I don't like retracting stories...So here is my offer to you Paris Hilton, CLEARLY your fiance SUCKS, you planned this amazing party for your family and his, and how does he thank you...He brings his parents who know NOTHING of the engagement. Lets also keep in mind that if that is reason enough to not marry him, here is another reason.

Every person in the United States and probably most of the UK knew you two were engaged...How is it possible that Paris' own parents didn't know...There are two answers that I can come up with, the first, his parents heard and he denied the news to them even though it was true because he is a spineless wuss...Or two...THEY ARE THE DUMBEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD! And, really, do you want your children to be in the slow class and on the short bus...Yeah I thought not...So for your own good, and for my own good (I.E. I will not have to retract what I had previously said about you two) Please...Either stay broken up...Or break up...Thanks Paris Hilton, it means more to me then you can imagine! Thanks, have a great day! :)

Trashtastic Tara

I'm so sick of Tara, but seriously this one couldn't go without posting...so without further ado I give to you...the mess!

Going....


Going.....

GONE!!!!

Are You Freaking Kidding Me?!!!

There are no words...just look!


Even Sean William Scott doesn't approve!

















ANNNNNNND now they are all laughing at you..not with u!!!

Breaking News...Literally

I have to say, I am a little scared to post this since I already once had to retract a statement about this relationship, but this isn't the Times, it's just my civic duty to bring you what we call gossip...That's gossip, not cold hard facts, gossip. So if it turns out ONCE AGAIN to be untrue, I will make sure that I once again bring the fact back to y'all! :)

And here we go...Paris and Paris have broken up. According to many sources this is in fact true, but the reasons as to why are various, although the one reason that I seem to keep coming across is this. Paris Hilton broke off the engagement when she found out that Paris Lastis had not told his parents of the impending wedding. (I wonder if she found that out after reading So Tres Fetch?!) "It was like a bad scene out of 'Meet The Parents'. Two of the world's richest families meet to celebrate their kids' engagement, but one set of parents knows nothing about it.".

Poor Paris...Like I said before...May not see a "Paris on Paris" wedding...But in case it isn't true...Might I suggest, Paris for the wedding? Call me Hilton

P.S.: Does she have to return the ring(s)?

And some more...

And, Once Again I bring to You The Laguna Kids

The sad part is...I'm not even excited about it anymore, they are so inudated in our media now that I can't find myself getting excited to see them anymore. (However I am sure if I saw them in person I would probably freak!) Only three comments from me. One: Why is Morgan EVERYWHERE, I am really not a fan. Two: Why is Christina there? Her and Morgan weren't even on the show. Three: (now this one shocks even me!) I don't find Casey to be extremely trashy here...I know, I know, I'm confused by this strange emotion too...Hopefully after I watch the show tonight my opinion will go back to normal (i.e.: CASEY IS TRASHTASTIC!)

Enjoy!

Dye-ing For a Change

Apparently while I was home over the weekend all of the celebs went dye-happy and made some appearance-changing decisions. I wish I had the guts to do this, but I don't...Then again looking at Nicky Hilton, maybe I DON'T wish I had the guts.

This is DEFINITLY working for Brad...but what doesn't?"

Now Mary Kate looks JUST like Ashley (and since they are twins that would make sense) But now I will NEVER be able to tell them apart...I guess unless I weigh them.

And REALLY Nicky, just go back to brown PLEEEAAASSSSE....I am not impressed!

In Other Guiding Light News...

Some of you might know Hayden Panettiere from Ice Princess, Racing Stripes, or Raising Helen, but I remember her as little Lizzie Spaulding from Guiding Light. Well after leaving the show she made some very good decision and went on to be a pretty big "kid star".

However as we all know, every good decision warrants a bad one in Hollywood, and I think Hayden might have just made one bad decision that might cancel out EVERY good decision she has ever made. Hayden has made a friend in Paris, and ALREADY seems to be on her downward spiral.

Hayden, smoking is for the MK Olsen, not for a 15 year old who SEEMED to be making a good name for herself! (P.S. She is 15, she turns 16 on August 21st, does this look like the behavior of a 15 year old? Maybe I am too far removed and I don't know, but I'm thinking NOOOOOOOOO!!"

Oh and I understand that Paris is in need of a new friend since her and Nicole split, but a 15 year old?? Maybe there is no definition of "age" in Hollywood...I am beginning to think that this is true.