Monday, January 09, 2006

My Letter To Britney

Dear Britney,

You and I are pretty much the same age and I have a small bone to pick with you. First of all you are a very beautiful girl, you have a great ambition, a good singing voice and your naivete is just so charming. But I am having a slight problem with you at the moment and it is three fold (well it might be more than three-fold, lets see what develops)

First of all, when you broke up with Justin I felt as though that was a good move, you needed your independence and you needed to develop as a person and through Justin it seemed as though you may not be able to grow in the way you wanted to. So this I am okay with. Even when you started partying, smoking, got a tattoo and was altogether being a little "wild" I was okay with that as well because you hadn't really been experience your teen years due to the fact that you needed to grow up fast when you became a famous pop sensation. This is all okay with me, throughout it all you remained on top and were able to form as a person through these experiences and that is all ok.

But this is where it all fell apart on me. You then started to date Kevin Federline and there were all these rumors that he was after your money. Then you married him, and to be honest, the wedding was all I hoped it would be. Then you continued to pay all your money on Kevin, nearly depleting your funds. But when I found out you were pregnant I was happy for you, I thought, 'maybe this love is for real, maybe the tabloids had it all wrong'. Then After the birth of Sean I heard more rumors of terror within your relationship with Kevin, and I started to get a little worried. And Britney, the other thing I used to envy was your kick ass body, but now...What have you done? Although I would NEVER agree with Kevin's comment of "you're too fat".

Anyways, I think the first weight you need to drop need not be any of the weight that you gained during your pregnancy, but instead you need to drop about 185 pounds of Kevin Federline. I'm just a little worried is all. Thanks for listening.

Love ya Lots!
Beth

P.S. I wrote a similar note to Lindsay when I was concerned for her with her worrying weight loss, and now she seems to be doing well, so Brit, Drop Kevin, then do a little something for yourself, then get back that kick ass bod and score a man that is worth you and your time! Or if you want your family to remain unbroken, you can always go desperate housewives style and just lock Kevin in the basement to avoid any more of his stupidity!

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